Pirates of Cannibal Isle or The Rare Blue Apes of Cannibal Isle or Mr. Quack Quack and the Rare Blue Ape or whatever you want to call it is the ripest slice of WTF lunacy I have seen in… I don’t know… decades. It’s a ‘70s kids movie, but it feels like someone was in danger every step of the way. And I don’t mean the characters. I mean the actors. They are all wearing bulky animal costumes that look like half-assed versions of the costumes from The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. They’re constantly crossing rickety Indiana Jones-style bridges, traipsing through caverns, going over waterfalls, swinging on vines like Tarzan, and going doing river on rafts made with sticks. It almost feels like any one of them could’ve died at any time. (Yes, that includes the duck.)
It’s like watching Werner Herzog’s New Zoo Revue.
Nonnie (Daud Bin Ibrahim) is a mute kid with a pet duck named Mr. Quack Quack (himself). His parents want to get rid of it, so he does what any mute kid would do: Take the duck on a boat ride to Cannibal Isle. There, they encounter “Swampies”, crocodile men/pirates led by Ulysses S. Krock who lock him up in a cage with a “Rare Blue Ape”. Together, Nonnie, the Rare Blue Ape, and Mr. Quack Quack escape to get the monkey safely back home with the pirates nipping at their heels the whole way.
Folks, I could tell you what happens in this movie, but you’d think I was higher than a hippie in a helicopter. Since it was filmed in the most bombed-out parts of Malaysia, there isn’t a frame of this movie that wouldn’t look at home in Apocalypse Now or Aguirre, the Wrath of God. Except for the scenes with the Swampies, the Rare Blue Apes and Mr. Quack Quack, of course. This could’ve just been fun from a visual standpoint as it’s one of the trippiest kids’ movies I’ve ever seen. However, the surprising thing is how involved you get. Not so much with the characters, but just that the film draws you into its own brand of weirdness in such a mesmerizing way that you have no choice but to get caught up in the action.
Folks, I had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard at some of the weird shit in this movie. Then, I had tears in my eyes when the previously thought dead Mr. Quack Quack made his triumphant return. E.T. eat your (glowing) heart out. Later, I had tears in my eyes because I was so happy that I existed at the same time that this previously thought lost movie was found. God bless the people at Vinegar Syndrome for unearthing this gem (along with nine other films in their Lost Picture Show box set).
Oh, and did I mention the music? It’s special in its own right. I would be lying if I told you I didn’t turn on the subtitles so I could sing along with all the songs. The theme song in particular is a straight-up banger and is so seared in my brain that I occasionally find myself singing it. (Yes, I’ve watched this multiple times before I even got the chance to review it, which rarely, if ever, happens.)
If you’re a jaded WTF movie fan like me, you think you’ve seen it all. Sometimes though, something special like this will come along and remind you that you haven’t. This is the purest hit of cinematic insanity I’ve seen in a long, long, time.
AKA: The Rare Blue Apes of Cannibal Isle. AKA: Cap’n Krock and the Rare Blue Apes. AKA: Mr. Quack Quack and the Rare Blue Ape.
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