FORMAT: BLU-RAY (REWATCH)
ORIGINAL REVIEW:
(As posted on August 22nd, 2023)
In the year 2000, an asteroid (it looks like your grandma’s chair) hurtles toward Earth with the potential to wipe out all of existence. Tina Krause’s solution? Take a shower!
After the asteroid kills most of the population, sexy Doctor Pamela Sutch sets herself up on an island turning men into mindless zombie soldiers and performing brain transplants. After she kills off most of the peaceful farming women on the island, the survivors swear revenge. With some help from the zombie henchmen who long to become human again, they plan to overthrow the mad doctor once and for all.
Before I continue with this review, I have to get something off my chest: There was no goddamn reason this needed to be 111 minutes. The plot circles around and loops back on itself a lot. The heroines are captured, then escape, only to be recaptured and escape again. There are also long scenes where actors are forced to say an incredible amount of ridiculous exposition with a straight face.
That said, it has a scene of Tina Krause getting undressed, taking a shower, being chloroformed, and hogtied, not one but two long text crawls that look like they came out of a Sega Genesis game, and the world ends via piece of furniture, all BEFORE the opening credits start, so it’s not all bad.
Unfortunately, it seems like they added the opening after the fact as the rest of the movie is rather light on nudity. I guess the filmmakers thought if they frontload it with a lot of T & A to lure you in, you’d forget what you were watching and why you were watching it in the first place. Oh, did I mention this is a W.A.V.E. movie? Questioning what the fuck you’re watching kind of goes along with the territory.
We do get some great gore along the way. There are slashed throats, hilarious brain operation scenes, zombie attacks, and even some Kung Fu too. I also enjoyed the fact that when the zombies eat people, it’s not raw like in a Romero movie. They actually take the time to put their prey in a giant pot and cook them like an old Bugs Bunny cartoon.
What else can I tell you about this one? There’s mud wrestling, bondage, discipline, electrocution, strangulation, wet T-shirts, catfights, and water fights. I mean, a movie with all that going for it can’t be all bad. It’s just way too long and much too slow moving in between the good stuff.
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