LET’S GET PHYSICAL: TREASURE OF THE FOUR CROWNS (1983) ***

 FORMAT:  BLU-RAY

Comin’ at Ya was a surprise hit that kicked off the 3-D revival of the ‘80s.  The makers of that film quickly reteamed for another 3-D adventure.  This time instead of an old-fashioned western, they delivered a 3-D Indiana Jones rip-off. 

An adventurer (Comin’ at Ya’s Tony Anthony) is hired to retrieve the titular treasure.  Problem is, one of the crowns is in the possession of a crazed cult leader.  Tony assembles a ragtag team (including a boozing mountain climber, a washed-up circus strongman, and his trapeze artist daughter) to sneak into the cult’s temple and steal the treasure. 

Many of the 3-D effects are cheesy.  You can clearly see the strings on the pterodactyls, fireballs, and floating keys as they fly out into the audience.  We also get a completely random eleventh-hour Exorcist-inspired head-spinning scene. 

This might not be the best 3-D transfer from 3-D Archive as some of the “in your face” effects don’t quite line up just right.  (The dirt in the print seems to float in midair at times.)  I’d say the success rate is about 70/30 in terms of effective eye-popping effects, which is still much better than your typically indifferent 3-D home releases.  Then again, with this much stuff coming out of the screen, it’s hard to complain.  Also, the majority of the depth of field effects look terrific. 

Admittedly, some of this gets a bit exhausting after a while.  However, I can’t fault the filmmakers for trying to toss every conceivable object at the audience.  In fact, Treasure of the Four Crowns has more 3-D effects in the first twenty minutes than ten typical 3-D pictures combined.  With so much stuff hurtling at your eyeballs, it’s enough to make you dizzy.  In an age where most 3-D is post-converted, it’s refreshing to watch something that embraces the gimmick, even if it comes at the expense of the story.  

There are one or two clever sequences, like the Raiders-inspired opening and a nifty scene where the team break into the cult leader’s fortress.  Then again, these moments would probably be underwhelming in 2-D.  I mean, as a “movie”… well… it ain’t much.  As a gimmick… it’s certainly worth seeing at least once, if only to remember a time when filmmakers knew how to properly use (or in some cases, overuse) the technology. 

The 3-D effects include:  

• 3-D Star Wars Crawl

• 3-D Glove

• 3-D Cigarette 

• 3-D Spear

• 3-D Vine

• 3-D Leaves

• 3-D Vulture 

• 3-D Pterodactyl 

• 3-D Rope

• 3-D Snake

• 3-D Wood

• 3-D Dog

• 3-D Sword 

• 3-D Straps

• 3-D Skeleton Hand

• 3-D Sword

• 3-D Scepter

• 3-D Key 

• 3-D Crossbow

• 3-D Arrows (multiple)

• 3-D Spears (multiple)

• 3-D Sword

• 3-D Spikes

• 3-D Fireball (multiple)

• 3-D Sword

• 3-D Flames

• 3-D Fireworks 

• 3-D Cigarette

• 3-D Suit of Armor

• 3-D Spear

• 3-D Crown

• 3-D Pointer

• 3-D Magnifying Glass 

• 3-D Key

• 3-D Stick

• 3-D Cans

• 3-D Glass

• 3-D Water

• 3-D Flames

• 3-D Drawers

• 3-D Key

• 3-D Key

• 3-D Hands

• 3-D Snow

• 3-D Feather (multiple)

• 3-D Key

• 3-D Beams of Light (multiple)

• 3-D Hand

• 3-D Safecracking Tool

• 3-D Harnesses (multiple)

• 3-D Rope

• 3-D Grappling Gun

• 3-D Tony Anthony

• 3-D Magnet

• 3-D Chain Link Fence

• 3-D Feet

• 3-D Dog

• 3-D Rope 

• 3-D Feet (multiple)

• 3-D Scissors

• 3-D Candle

• 3-D Knife 

• 3-D Tambourines (multiple)

• 3-D Candle

• 3-D Tambourine

• 3-D Rope (multiple)

• 3-D Spikes

• 3-D Metal Snakes

• 3-D Real Snakes

• 3-D Sword

• 3-D Flame

• 3-D Glowing Orbs

• 3-D Explosions (multiple)

• 3-D Fireballs (multiple)

• 3-D Exploding Face

• 3-D Gun 

• 3-D Glass

• 3-D Monster

So, to sum up:  ** for the movie.  **** for the 3-D.  *** Average. 

AKA:  Crown in the Temple of Doom.