ENEMY (2014) ****

Jake Gyllenhaal stars as a dour professor who lives a dreary existence.  One day, someone recommends a movie to him.  He rents it and is disturbed to learn that one of the actors in it looks exactly like him.  Jake does some research and finds out the actor lives nearby.  He begins digging into his double’s life and begins stalking him.  Things take a turn for the worst for Jake once his double learns of his existence.

Director Denis Villeneuve (who directed Prisoners, which also starred Gyllenhaal) works at a slow, methodical pace.  Could this have played out as a short film or as part of a horror anthology?  Absolutely.  (It sort of reminded me of that ‘80s Twilight Zone episode starring Bruce Willis.)  However, you never know where the film is going next, which keeps you riveted for every frame of its ninety-minute running time.  That coupled with Villeneuve’s bleak worldview is enough to qualify it as a modern classic.

Enemy is a great mind fuck movie in the hallowed tradition of The Machinist and Fight Club.  It sucks you in and never lets you go.  Once you think you know where it’s going, Villeneuve dekes and takes off into a different direction.  I loved how he sprung his surprises.  Most directors will telegraph a big plot twist with a big music sting on the soundtrack.  Villeneuve drops them casually in there, as if to say, “… oh by the way everything you thought you knew is wrong”, which is much more trippy.  Not only that, but the way he slowly ratchets up the tension is a thing of beauty.  I think this might be the only time I jumped while watching a film at an automatic door opening unexpectedly.

Gyllenhaal is brilliant.  He gives two almost identical performances, but each one has enough nuance that you always know who is who (even though the characters around him aren’t so sure).  He’s just as good in this as he was in Nightcrawler and the twisty plot is loopy enough to stand shoulder to shoulder with Donnie Darko as far as trippy Gyllenhaal movies go.

In short, don’t miss Enemy.  This movie has it all.  That’s not even including all the stuff I can’t talk about because it would spoil the fun.  Just check it out.  You’ll be glad you did.

INSIDIOUS CHAPTER 3 (2015) **

I barely remember what happened in the past two Insidious movies.  I do recall the first one being loud as shit.  I guess my foggy recollections don’t matter since this is a prequel, but still.

If anything, Insidious Chapter 3 earns points for giving Lin Shaye a prominent role.  She returns as Elise the psychic who helps a young girl named Quinn (Stefanie Scott) contact her dead mother.  When she has a near death experience, a ghost from the other side follows her back to the “real” world and maliciously torments her.  It’s then up to Elise to go into the other side and set things right.

The writer of the first two Insidiouses, Leigh Whannell was promoted to director for this installment.  He basically just mimics James Wan’s style from the first two movies, which makes it feel like a natural continuation.  The cinematography is atmospheric, and it’s decently acted and everything, but it’s just never involving. 

Like the first movie, the soundtrack blasts and shrieks whenever something allegedly “scary” occurs.  However, the scares are so generic that its almost guaranteed that no one would jump if it wasn’t for the shrill piercing music.  I mean people stand around mumbling for ten minutes, so you have to constantly keep turning up the volume to hear them.  Then, a specter jumps up and the CLANG-SCREECH-BLAST is almost loud enough to wake the dead, or blow out your television speakers, whatever comes first.

The performers do a fine job.  I liked Dermot Mulroney as the dad who doesn’t listen, and Scott is solid as the haunted teenager.  It’s really Shaye’s show through and through.  Whatever goodwill I reserved for the film is mostly due to her performance.

I guess you could label much of this as competent mediocrity.  It’s watchable for the first hour or so, but things get annoying once a team of ghost hunters (one of whom is played by Whannell) show up with their green-tinted night vision cameras to do a sweep of the house.  I can’t say I’d be against seeing the sequel, The Last Key.  Just maybe this time fellas, keep the “scary” music down to a reasonable decibel? 

THE CAULDRON: BAPTISM OF BLOOD (2004) *

A cult of sexy witches holds an occult ritual where they dance around, sacrifice a man, and bathe in his blood.  Meanwhile, an aspiring singer named Stacy (Kellie Karl) wins first place on a reality show called “America’s Top Talent”.  The witches then set out to make Stacy their next sacrifice.

The Cauldron:  Baptism of Blood is kind of like an unofficial sequel to Ted V. Mikels’ Blood Orgy of the She-Devils.  It plays like a cheap Witchcraft sequel, what with all the cleavage and Satanic rituals and all.  (Although there is unfortunately no nudity, which might’ve been the only thing to make it worth a damn.)  Amazingly enough, it manages to be worse than either of those films. 

Like most of Mikels’ work, there’s way too many characters (a ventriloquist, a battered wife, a couple of cops, etc.) and the running time is exorbitant.  I mean witches in sexy outfits doing ritualistic dances is the kind of padding I don’t ordinarily mind in a movie, but there was no reason in hell The Cauldron:  Baptism of Blood had to be 102 minutes.  The America’s Top Talent show is practically shown its entirety (it looks like a public access TV show from the ‘90s) and stops the flick dead in its tracks.  I dug the gratuitous plugs for other Mikels films (in the form of posters, VHS tapes, and movies playing on television) though. 

The ending is pathetic.  The demon (or whatever it is) appears as a floating head with horns and shoots lasers at the witches who burst into cheap-looking CGI flames.  I guess it might’ve been okay if the film was only 75 minutes long.  As it is, The Cauldron:  Baptism of Blood is an often-excruciating endurance test.  At least the severed-head-in-a-fish-tank scene is priceless enough to save this from being utter garbage. 

THE MEYEROWITZ STORIES (NEW AND SELECTED) (2017) ***

I’m a big enough fan of writer/director Noah Baumbach to call The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) slight and lightweight and mean it as a compliment.  It’s a reiteration of themes he’s explored in past films in better, funnier ways.  That in no way diminishes the entertainment value.  It’s frequently funny and insightful, and Baumbach often captures the minutia of a dysfunctional family in a crisis with a documentarian’s eye.  

The structure is a bit obvious, but it serves its purpose nicely.  We first see how failed musician Danny Meyerowitz (Adam Sandler) deals with his set-in-his-ways father (Dustin Hoffman), a sculptor who came close to stardom, but never quite made it.  The next story shows the relationship between Danny’s half-brother Michael (Ben Stiller) and their father.  Then, once their dad goes into the hospital, we see how the estranged brothers get on with one another.

Sandler has almost exclusively been working for Netflix these days.  This is the first of his Netflix movies I’ve seen.  I can’t speak to his performances in those films, but he’s as good here as he’s been in years.  Like Paul Thomas Anderson, Baumbach is able to take Sandler’s man-child schtick and filter it through his unique sensibility.  Their collaboration allows him to play his usual persona while tapping into his gifts as a dramatic performer.  

Hoffman goes all-in with his bristly performance.  I’m sure many folks out there know an immediate family member who acts the way he does, handing out backhanded compliments and misremembering what sibling did what in their childhood.  Stiller (who also played Hoffman’s son in Meet the Fockers) has a more thankless job, but he still delivers a fine performance.  The supporting cast, which features Judd Hirsch, an unrecognizable Emma Thompson, and a funny Adam Driver cameo are all a lot of fun and provide the film with plenty of seasoning.

WOULD YOU RATHER (2013) ***

The rich have been playing sadistic games with human lives for their own amusement in movies ever since The Most Dangerous Game.  Would You Rather is a low key, but effective variation on the same theme.  No one reinvented the wheel or anything here, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t get the job done.  

A rich man (Jeffrey Combs) invites eight down-on-their-luck strangers to a dinner party that promises to change their fortunes.  During the meal, he plays games with them to test their willpower.  The stakes are small at first, but things become deadly when he has them play an extreme version of Would You Rather.  The first round involves them electrocuting each other and the rounds only get crueler and more twisted as the game wears on.

The fine cast help to milk as much mileage from the set-up as possible.  Brittany Snow makes for an ideal leading lady and Combs is a hoot as the twisted host of the party.  The dinner guests are well-cast too.  I especially liked seeing John Heard as a conspiracy theorist drunk and ex-porn star Sasha Grey as the most cold-hearted contestant. 

The film is a lot like Saw as Combs forces his guests to make split-second decisions in life or death situations.  Since it lacks that series’ endless moralizing, it means it can have a bit more fun with the premise.   Would You Rather is a smallish, three-chord, down and dirty horror flick that puts the emphasis on tension and dread and delivers more often than not.  Sure, you can anticipate where a lot of this is going, but director David Guy Levy keeps things moving at a healthy clip and delivers the goods.

WISH UPON (2017) *

Joey King stars as a bullied teenage girl who receives a mysterious Chinese box that grants wishes.  Naturally, she uses it to get revenge on her tormentors.  She wishes one girl would “go rot” and she develops a flesh-eating disease.  She wishes to be rich, and a relative dies and leaves her money.  You know, the usual sub-Twilight Zone shit.

Most of the teenage characters are obnoxious, annoying douches who are obsessed with their phones, so they pretty much get what’s coming to them.  They constantly say things like “haters gonna hate”, which makes you wish the box would utterly eviscerate them.  Unfortunately, the PG-13 rating won’t allow us the satisfaction of seeing it.  Because of that, the deaths are really lame and bloodless. (The box demands a life after every wish.)  They also heavily rely on a lot of off-brand Final Destination shenanigans.  There’s a kill by garbage disposal that tries so hard to trick you, but it’s obvious where it’s going. 

The whole movie is like that though.  It wants you to look one way to catch you off guard before trying to scare you.  If you ever saw a horror film in your life, all of this will be utterly predictable and tedious.

The teenagers are all annoying, but at least we have Sherilynn Fenn and Ryan Phillippe as the adults.  Trust me, nothing makes you feel old like seeing Phillippe playing a dad in a movie.  I did like the fact that he was a dumpster-diving hoarder.  I think that might be the first instance of a hoarder in a horror movie.  We also get a random ass Jerry O’Connell cameo too, because, why not?

I should’ve known it was gonna suck because it’s from the director of Annabelle.  It’s slightly better than Annabelle, but that’s like the faintest praise there’s ever been. Trust me, you’ll want to wish away Wish Upon. 

PREDESTINATION (2015) *** ½

Ethan Hawke works for a shadowy time traveling agency in 1970.  He poses as a bartender who hears a long, unlikely, but heartfelt story from an unassuming stranger who enters the bar.  Because of Hawke’s job description, he finds himself in a position to help the customer and offers them an opportunity to go back in time and fix their past.

To divulge any more would do the viewer a great disservice.  Because of that, I’m going to try to keep this review as short and spoiler-free as possible.  Do yourself a favor and stop reading this review and go check it out.

Based on a Robert A. Heinlein story, Predestination, from The Spierig (Undead) Brothers is a twisty, engaging, and fun thriller that starts small and personal before getting increasingly bonkers as it goes along.  It all hinges on a wild reveal that in lesser hands could’ve wound up being a total disaster.  However, the brothers handle the various time-hopping shenanigans and potential paradoxes with panache.

While the movie often threatens to go off the rails, the excellent performances help to keep it grounded.  Ethan Hawke (who also starred in the Spierigs' Daybreakers) and Sarah Snook are simply terrific together.  At first, it almost feels like their scenes in the bar came out of a two-character play, but the more they reveal to each other, the more moving and poignant it becomes.  These scenes are so good that they pretty much blow the time-traveling sections of the film (which sometimes resembles a slightly classier version of Timecop) out of the water.  One could argue that the ending is a bit pat, but then again, I guess it had to be in order to keep all the various paradoxes and timelines in check.

In short, this is a total blast from start to finish.  The final twist is particularly jaw-dropping.  By the time it’s over, you’ll probably wish you could go back in time and see it again for the first time.