JOLENE IS IN TOWN (201?) ****

Sometimes my movie-watching habits take me down strange rabbit holes.  Sometimes those rabbit holes converge into an underground labyrinth of WTF Cinema. 

Remember a while back when I was watching all those Lingerie Fighting Championships?  Well, they were taken off Tubi and put back on the company’s site behind a paywall.  Because of that, I hadn’t watched one in a while, and you know what they say?  Absence makes the heart grow fonder.  Because of that, I’ve been jonesing to see my favorite LFC fighter, Jolene “The Valkyrie” Hexx back in action. 

This was not the action I was expecting. 

Okay, remember when I reviewed Eaten Alive:  A Tasteful Revenge?  That, of course, was the movie that cemented my love for W.A.V.E. Productions.  If you’ll recall, the plot had Debbie D. shrinking down naked women and eating them.  Now, at the time I had no idea that was a kink, but apparently “macrophilia” (the sexual attraction to giants) is a pretty (pardon the pun) big deal in some fetish circles. 

So, where do these paths cross?  One day I was curious to see what Jolene was up to, so I Googled her up and lo and behold I found Jolene is in Town.  Now, this isn’t exactly a movie.  I initially wasn’t going to review it since it’s essentially a short fetish clip, but because it’s roughly the same length as Eaten Alive (about twenty-five minutes), I figured I would give the film its due. 

Man, I wasn’t ready for this. 

So, basically, our girl Jolene is a giant who lords over a city.  (A decently constructed model, all things considered.)  No explanation is given why she’s so huge, and honestly, none is needed.  She just stomps around town and occasionally scoops up and eats citizens.  When she gets bored of that, she begins destroying the city, a building at a time. 

I’m not a macrophile, but while watching one of my favorite female fighters of all time stomping on and/or devouring people, I can honestly say I began to see the appeal.  I mean, if I had to be picked up and swallowed whole by a giantess, Jolene would be at the very top of my list. 

The camerawork is surprisingly good for what essentially is a fetish clip.  The shots of the camera looking up at Jolene menacing the town help convey her giantess stature better than you might expect.  I also loved the scenes where she presses her butt, tits, and lips against the window of an office building.  The POV shots of Hexx grabbing the camera and slowly shoving it into her mouth work really well too. 

The effects are about as good as they need to be.  The CGI for the bombers that attack Jolene are kind of cheesy but fit in with the B-Movie vibe.  She definitely looks hot while swatting them out of the air à la King Kong.  Now, every red-blooded monster fan loves King Kong, but I ask you:  Did King Kong ever twerk a skyscraper to death?  I think not. 

It was in scenes like this where I could glean the allure of the fetish.  One can only assume moments like these to be the proverbial money shot.  I could also understand the appeal of the scenes of Hexx literally talking down to the populace and stepping on them.  I mean, if you get off on verbal humiliation and being trampled upon, then this is that to the most extreme degree.  Foot fetish fans should also get a kick (no pun intended) from the scene where Jolene forces the citizens to give her a foot massage. 

Even when you take away the fact that this is a fetish video, you have to admit there in shit in this movie(ish) that you just don’t see every day.  That alone makes it highly recommended.  I know there are people out there with an armpit fetish.  If you do, just wait till you see the scene where Jolene picks up a Lilliputian citizen and smothers him in her armpit.  Somewhere I think Luis Bunuel is smiling. 

So, if you ever watched Allison Hayes in Attack of the 50 Foot Woman and thought to yourself… “WOULD”, then you should definitely check out Jolene is in Town.