A
cult of sexy witches holds an occult ritual where they dance around, sacrifice
a man, and bathe in his blood. Meanwhile,
an aspiring singer named Stacy (Kellie Karl) wins first place on a reality show
called “America’s Top Talent”. The
witches then set out to make Stacy their next sacrifice.
The
Cauldron: Baptism of Blood is kind of
like an unofficial sequel to Ted V. Mikels’ Blood Orgy of the She-Devils. It plays like a cheap Witchcraft sequel, what
with all the cleavage and Satanic rituals and all. (Although there is unfortunately no nudity,
which might’ve been the only thing to make it worth a damn.) Amazingly enough, it manages to be worse than
either of those films.
Like
most of Mikels’ work, there’s way too many characters (a ventriloquist, a battered
wife, a couple of cops, etc.) and the running time is exorbitant. I mean witches in sexy outfits doing
ritualistic dances is the kind of padding I don’t ordinarily mind in a movie,
but there was no reason in hell The Cauldron:
Baptism of Blood had to be 102 minutes. The America’s Top Talent show is practically shown
its entirety (it looks like a public access TV show from the ‘90s) and stops
the flick dead in its tracks. I dug the gratuitous plugs for other Mikels films (in the form of posters, VHS
tapes, and movies playing on television) though.
The
ending is pathetic. The demon (or
whatever it is) appears as a floating head with horns and shoots lasers at the
witches who burst into cheap-looking CGI flames. I guess it might’ve been okay if the film was
only 75 minutes long. As it is, The Cauldron: Baptism of Blood is an often-excruciating
endurance test. At least the severed-head-in-a-fish-tank
scene is priceless enough to save this from being utter garbage.
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