Uninvited
is the best mutant-cat-escapes-from-a-genetics-research-lab-and-stows-aboard-a-yacht-carrying-young-spring-breakers-and-old-character-actors-and-picks-them-off-one-by-one
movie I’ve ever seen. It’s longwinded,
preposterous, uneven, and downright bizarre, but I wouldn’t have it any other
way. Believe me when I tell you there is
some truly special shit in this flick.
Remember
in Alien when the alien opened its mouth and another mouth jumped out? Well, when the cat in Uninvited opens its
mouth ANOTHER CAT jumps out and mauls the humans. Incredible.
This
was made by Greydon Clark, who is admittedly all over the map in terms of
quality. Once in a blue moon you get a
Black Shampoo from Greydon. Most times
though, it’s something like Angels Revenge.
Thankfully, Uninvited in closer to the Black Shampoo end of the
spectrum.
Probably
my favorite moment comes when a kindhearted gas station attendant takes pity on
the cat and gives it a saucer of milk.
Minutes later, he is killed by a gunman during a robbery. What does the cat do? It stows away in the getaway vehicle and GETS
REVENGE! Holy Shit, is this movie
awesome or what?
I
haven’t even told you about the scene where it turns guys wearing Jiffy Pop
colored hazmat suits into hamburger. Or the
part where Clu Gulager (who’s sporting a pair of hilarious fake teeth and some
serious Coke bottle glasses) pisses it off and it tears him a new one. Or the elongated aerobicizing scene. (“I think you’re better than Jane Fonda!”) Or the scene where Sheri Shattuck eats food
tainted with radioactive cat blood and her throat erupts in bloody sores
quicker than you can say Meow Mix.
It’s
PG-13, so the make-out scenes between the teens don’t feature any nudity. That’s okay though because the scene of
cat-us interruptus is classic. It also
contains one of the greatest white-teens-with-no-rhythm-trying-to-dance scenes
of the ‘80s.
Sure,
the third act is a mess, especially during the cat-less portions. I won’t even bring up the fact that even
though it was released in 1988, it looks like it was filmed in ’81. Just do me a favor. Before you sit down to watch Uninvited, ask yourself
one question: Am I the kind of person
who wants to see George Kennedy’s Achilles torn out by a demon Muppet cat? If the answer is a resounding “FUCK YEAH!”,
then you’re sure to have a great time.
AKA: Killer Cat.
Finally someone appreciates the greatness that is Uninvited, Strays is another killer cat film worth watching, though it's not quite as insane as this film.
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed it. We had this at the old video store I worked out back in the '00s. I tried to go through the entire horror section alphabetically and made it all the way to The Unborn 2 before we shut down, so I didn't get to see it until now.
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