WHERE THE BOYS ARE (1984) * ½

Where the Boys Are is a remake of the old 1960 film but updated for the age of the ‘80s Teenage Sex Comedy.  I guess the main appeal of a remake was to let the girls (Lisa Hartman, Wendy Schaal, Lorna Luft, and Lynn-Holly Johnson) act wild and crazy in one of these movies for a change.  Even though they claim they’re going to Fort Lauderdale on Spring Break for “animal sex and debauchery”, it’s all surprisingly tame.  Sure, they bring along a male blow-up doll, go out drinking, and participate in a “Hot Bod” competition, but it’s all very reserved.  (There’s even a gender reversal of the cliched scene of one of the main characters inadvertently picking up a prostitute.)

It’s well-meaning, I guess and less crass and crude than other similar Teenage Sex Comedies of the era.  Maybe that’s part of the problem.  People wanting a typical Teenage Sex Comedy will walk away disappointed because of the lack of skin.  People who want a comedy from the female gaze will be disappointed as there’s really nothing here that indicates it’s coming from a woman’s perspective.

Director Hy Averback’s career mostly consisted of television work, and you can certainly tell.  There’s barely enough nudity here to get an R rating.  There are brief topless shots on the beach (the film’s biggest laugh comes from a guy with a megaphone who tricks topless sunbathers into turning over) and during a bikini contest, but that’s about it.  Otherwise, all you get is a bunch of girls in skimpy bathing suits and one in a kinky S & M get-up.  All of this probably seems just as chaste to today’s audiences as the original was in ’84.  I mean the whole thing ends with a goddamn piano recital, for Christ’s sake.  

Johnson, who was so appealing in For Your Eyes Only, is one of the few sources of fun here.  Unfortunately, most of her dumb dialogue requires her to says stuff like, “It’s like a supermarket of sex!”  Schaal is fine too as the prudish girl who gets drunk and does a striptease on top of a bar, but neither actress is given the opportunity to really cut loose, which is a shame.

If anything, Where the Boys Are is notable for being the first movie ever released by Tri-Star Pictures.

AKA:  Where the Boys Are ’84.