TUBI CONTINUED… AMITYVILLE SCARECROW 2 (2022) *

In a perfect world, I would’ve watched Amityville Scarecrow before I saw Amityville Scarecrow 2.  However, the only version of Amityville Scarecrow on Tubi is in Spanish, so I decided to skip it.  I guess I could’ve found it streaming elsewhere, but the way I feel is if it ain’t on Tubi, it doesn’t matter.  Besides, when did not seeing the original movie ever stop me from checking out the sequel?

The opening sequence has a couple with nearly indecipherable accents renovating a barn.  Why do they have such thick brogues?  Because the movie takes place in Amityville, ENGLAND!  (Since it’s so hard to understand them, I now think might’ve been okay watching the Spanish version of Part 1.)  

A year earlier, a bunch of people were found murdered at this rundown campground.  Now, the owners are trying to spruce the place up and reopen for business, hoping that everyone conveniently forgets about the murders (or the fact that the place used to be home to a haunted house).  Naturally, a creepy scarecrow is running around the place turning campers into mincemeat.

Amityville Scarecrow 2 is set more in a slasher movie mold than the haunted house shenanigans found in your typical Amityville rip-off.  In particular, it owes a debt to Friday the 13th Part 2 as there is even a campfire story that acts as the scarecrow’s origin.  We also get a Psycho-inspired shower scene in there, just because.  

This might’ve worked, I guess, if the kill scenes were any good or if the scarecrow had any personality.  As it is, he kind of looks like a grown-up version of Sam from Trick ‘R’ Treat wearing a straw hat and overalls.  He isn’t intimidating in the least, and the gore is weak too.  It also doesn’t help that the finale is nearly nonexistent, and the killer’s demise occurs offscreen.  

The lone bright spot is Chrissie Wunna as the bosomy babe who gets a sex scene and a shower scene before being killed off.  I wish she hung around a bit longer.  Not just because she provides some above average T & A, but because she’s the only one in the cast with any kind of personality.  

For the most part, Amityville Scarecrow 2 is slow moving, talky (there’s a lot of exposition scenes and discussions about “family legacy”), and uneventful.  Plus, the accents are so thick that it’s hard to make out what the actors are saying half the time.  I was almost tempted to turn on the subtitles at one point.  Then, I realized I didn’t really care that much about what was going on, and I didn’t really want to get up and grab the remote in order to find out.