Wednesday, May 24, 2023

TUBI CONTINUED… FIRE MONSTERS AGAINST THE SON OF HERCULES (1962) ***

It’s been a while since I’ve watched some good old fashioned Italian peplum.  So, when the Tubi algorithm recommended this one to me, I decided to dive right in.  This is one of those “Sons of Hercules” movies, which is just an informal banner that TV stations used back in the day when they wanted to show an obscure Italian muscleman movie.  Since most American couch potatoes had no idea who a character like “Maciste” was, the distributors redubbed him as the more badass sounding “Maxus” and added narration at the beginning explaining he was one of the many “Sons of Hercules”.  They did this to a lot of Togaploitation flicks in the ‘60s, and most of them suck, but I have to admit, I dug the hell out of this one.

Heck, Fire Monsters Against the Son of Hercules doesn’t even take place in ancient Greece.  It’s actually a prehistoric action flick as all the characters are more or less dumb cavemen.  At any rate, it’s still a lot of fun.  

Maxus is portrayed by Reg Lewis, who shouldn’t to be confused with Reg Park, who was also Maciste in Maciste in King Solomon’s Mines, and who actually played Hercules in Hercules and the Captive Women (among others).  That’s right, folks!  Not only is this a Fake Hercules movie, it stars a Fake Reg!  I love it.  

Anyway, Maxus saves a guy from a sea serpent.  Since he was the son of the leader of the “Sun Tribe”, they offer him a chance to rule their kingdom (or at least their cave).  Naturally, Maxus refuses and goes on his merry way.  When the warring “Moon Tribe” ransacks their village and kidnaps their womenfolk, the Sun Tribe seeks Maxus’ help to get them back.  

The monsters are awful.  Or awesome.  Depending on your point of view.  Either way, you’ll be laughing hysterically during the scenes where Maxus does battle with them.  The sea monster looks like a cross between the Loch Ness Monster and a Pound Puppy.  He actually looks kind of cute, and it’s a shame that Maxus tosses a spear in its eye, causing it to erupt in a geyser of blood.  Someone get Sarah McLachlan on the phone!  In fact, most of the monsters are just kind of standing around minding their own business and not really bothering anyone when Maxus just rushes in and kills them for no good reason.  Not a good look, Hercules… err… Maxus.  

Oh, and none of the monsters breathe fire as suggested by the title, which is kind of misleading.  Then again, Maxus isn’t really a “Son” of Hercules either.  So, there’s TWO lies in the title right there!  Did I mention I love this movie?

Despite the constant untruths suggested by the title, there is some good shit here.  Even if you go in expecting a typical toga fest, the cavemen battles are a lot of fun.  Plus, there’s still plenty of the typical schtick found in a Hercules flick (columns are toppled, heavy boulders are lifted, guys pile on our hero and he throws them through the air with a single shrug, etc.) to keep fans of Italian peplum satisfied.  My favorite part though was the chorus line of sexy cavewomen dancers who perform Vegas-style showgirl numbers while draped in fur pelts.  I mean, what more do you want from a movie?  

AKA:  Maciste vs. the Monsters.  AKA:  Colossus of the Stone Age.  AKA:  Land of the Monsters.

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