If you can’t already tell by the thumbnail picture, this is one of the most obvious Twilight rip-offs ever made. It also happens to be one of the worst. It’s so bad it makes the official Twilight movies look like Dracula in comparison.
The Last Vampire on Earth tells a time-honored love story. Pale boy meets pale girl. Pale boy almost loses pale girl. Pale boy wins back pale girl. Pale girl invites him over to her family’s house for dinner. Pale boy pukes up mama’s chicken because… he’s a vampire. Pale girl is sick, and since her religion doesn’t allow her to receive blood transfusions, it means the only way she can be saved is if pale boy bites her and turns her into a vampire.
Imagine if someone had $7 at their disposal, a cast of people without an acting bone in their body, lots of white face paint, and a desire to remake Twilight. (There’s even a recreation of the “Say it… ‘vampire’” scene.) That’s about what you get with The Last Vampire on Earth.
This is a bad movie, to be sure. I don’t want to oversell just how bad it is, but director Vitaliy Versace left the “Vignette” filter on throughout the whole damned running time. I repeat: HE LEFT THE VIGNETTE FILTER ON THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE DAMNED RUNNING TIME. Every shot has a black circle around the frame, which is a sign of ineptitude the likes of which I have never seen. It’s like when you play a prank on grandma and mess with the settings on her phone’s camera.
Also, everything is way too dark. I know everyone is supposed to look pale and all, but the lighting is so bad in some scenes that everyone looks like a corpse. Even the people who aren’t supposed to be vampires look like one of the undead.
The acting is some of the worst I’ve ever experienced. Every single line delivery sound like someone reading right off their script. Sometimes, it sounds like the actors are pronouncing the dialogue phonetically, as if English was a fourth or fifth language.
The biggest laugh in the movie comes during the scene where pale boy is playing ping pong with himself. The ineptly edited jump cuts are supposed to represent his “super speed” as he runs back and forth between both ends of the table. This has nothing though on the WTF jaw-dropper of a scene where pale girl reveals her big secret to pale boy. I’m not sure what the fuck the filmmakers were thinking here, but it’s one of the most spectacularly bad taste moments I’ve sat through in recent memory. That’s not exactly a recommendation, but if you’re a Bad Movie fan who thinks they’ve seen it all, The Last Vampire on Earth will likely test even the most die-hard Grade Z movie fan’s mettle.
You’ve been warned.
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