Ben (Will Gregory) is on his way to San Francisco with his wife (Gaye Gordon) and baby in tow. When his car breaks down on the highway, he leaves his wife and kid on the side of the road and heads to a junkyard looking for parts. As soon as he arrives, the creepy owner Harry (Paul Leder) begins harassing him. Soon after, Harry’s sleazy wife Sally (Rue McClanahan) starts sexually harassing him. Harry eventually pushes Ben too far and thus begins a game of cat and mouse, culminating in a violent confrontation.
The only memorable part of this dull thriller is when Leder addresses the audience and says he only took the role because the studio insisted it had a basis in fact. This is complete bullshit however since Leder himself co-wrote the script! I have a feeling this was only added because he wanted to assure everyone that he isn’t really a disgusting, despicable creep like he plays in the movie. (Either that, or they needed to pad the running time out to hit the eighty-minute mark.)
Overwrought and overdramatic, the whole movie boils down to nothing more than a bunch of icky characters yelling at one another while sweating profusely. The scenes with future Golden Girl McClanahan feel like a cheap version of a Tennessee Williams play as she breathlessly yammers on about how it only takes five minutes to do the nasty. (The original title was Five Minutes to Love.) Heck, even the “good” guys are rather unpleasant, which doesn’t exactly make for an enjoyable viewing experience.
Scene after scene of people screaming their heads off at one another quickly grows tiresome. The part where the junkie runs off at the mouth about God knows what seemingly goes on forever. The only reason anyone would probably want to watch it is to see Rue in her prime playing a hooker. I did enjoy seeing King (the “TORTURE!” guy from Teenagers from Outer Space) Moody (who also went on to play Ronald McDonald!) as Leder’s right-hand man though, and the groovy jazz soundtrack is decent.
Director John Hayes went on to do much better Grave of the Vampire. He was dating McClanahan at the time and directed her in the only slightly less irritating Hollywood After Dark. Leder went on to direct such classics as I Dismember Mama and A*P*E. Despite their best efforts, this Apple is Rotten to the core.
AKA: It Only Takes Five Minutes. AKA: Five Minutes to Love.
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