Wednesday, May 24, 2023

TUBI CONTINUED… A FRENCH MAID IN SAN FRANCISCO (1981) ** ½

A French Maid in San Francisco is a very strange movie.  Or should I say it’s a very strange presentation of a movie.  It’s an edited hardcore sex flick, which is kind of surprising to find on Tubi.  But it gets weirder.  All the voices have been completely redubbed.  That might not sound weird, but it’s obvious that the soundtrack, music, and dialogue were replaced recently, and not at the time of production.  No one put much effort into it either, as the dubbing is worse than your average Kung Fu actioner.  Also, some dialogue scenes are repeated, and there are flashbacks to stuff we’ve just seen that add to the overall fever dream aesthetic.   

Julia Perrin stars as Julia, an eighteen-year-old French girl who comes to San Francisco and finds work with a maid service.  Her first client is an old dude who has over a hundred cats.  It seems weird from the start, but she heads for the hills when the old perv wants her to wear sexy lingerie.  Her next job is with a family that has a horny teenage daughter, who naturally seduces Julia.  Things get complicated when her mother’s lover (Herschel Savage) joins in on the fun.  Next up is a family with a grandpa who tells Civil War stories and waves the Dixie flag whenever he gets a blowjob.  Julia’s final client is a scientist (played by John Leslie) who falls in love with her, and eventually, they get married.

The movie already had an odd vibe to it as it is.  (There’s a picture of Father Guido Sarducci hanging in the employment office.)  The re-release fiddling just adds to the overall weirdness.  The funky fashions (Perrin wears what looks to be an astronaut suit when we first meet her) also lend themselves nicely to the strange mood.  I mean, I can’t say it’s “good”, but it’s certainly memorable and offbeat.  

Perrin has a sexy Christina Lindberg-type quality about her and carries the film rather well.  She also figures into the hottest scene in the movie when she makes out with her image in the mirror.  I can only imagine how this sequence played in its original version as it is pretty steamy in this edited form.  The scene where she masturbates and fantasizes that Leslie is yelling at her from a black void is less effective, however.  Leslie is as amusing as ever, but it’s Savage who gets the wildest line of the whole flick when he tells Perrin, “Don’t you know you can get cancer from making it with a lesbian?”

AKA:  She’ll Do Alright.  AKA:  Love Dreams.

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