PANDORA PEAKS (2002) **

Pandora Peaks was Russ Meyer’s final film.  As cinematic swan songs go, it’s a head-scratcher.  I hate to criticize movies for being “self-indulgent” because why make a movie if you can’t indulge yourself?  However, there is a line. 

Pandora Peaks was Russ’s object of affection in his later days.  And why not?  When you get a look at her 72HHH figure, it’s almost impossible to not want to make a movie with her.  The film itself amps up his already rapid-fire editing style into senseless bits that are over before they really begin.  Russ will narrate a bit of biographical info about himself while showing this (Russ fishing) and that (the history of Mojave) and God knows what.  Then, Pandora will go on and on about her life’s story and/or anecdotes about her stripping career while quick-cut images of her flashing the camera in an array of skimpy outfits appear on screen.  Then, for some reason, a huge-breasted (but not nearly as bosomy as Pandora) German chick named Tundi bounces about.  In the end, the legendary Candy Samples shows up to tell us about the wonders of tit fucking. 

You know you’re in trouble when a scene of a woman pleasuring herself is intercut with an oil pump moving up and down.  Not just because Meyer has used this sight gag many times before, but because Meyer’s narration tells us in excruciating detail how the movement of the pump mimics the sexual act.  Russ, haven’t you heard?  If you have to explain the joke, it probably wasn’t funny in the first place. 

There might’ve been an OK hook for a movie here as it harkens back to Meyer’s earliest work, which were basically just filmed versions of cheesecake centerfold spreads.  However, the editing is so chaotic you can never quite get your bearings.  The pointless reusing of footage (which I assume was only there to… ahem… pad things out) is kind of irritating too.  Peaks is certainly a vision, but the editing is so ADHD that it’s hard to really appreciate and admire her physique.  On the rare occasion the editing does slow down to accommodate her gyrating (like her sexy cowgirl striptease or when she’s lifting weights), the film threatens to work.  I mean a movie that manages to cram in this much nudity in a small amount of time even if it’s schizophrenic is still worthy of **.  Most of the time though, Pandora Peaks is just too much to handle.