Tuesday, February 20, 2024

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: CRAZY SIX (1998) * ½

FORMAT:  DVD

After the fall of Communism, Eastern Europe became a haven for criminals and is now known as “Crimeland”.  A crackhead thief named Crazy Six (Rob Lowe) and his crew rip off a gangster played by Ice-T. Naturally, that makes them wanted men. 

Directed by Albert (Mean Guns) Pyun, Crazy Six has a surprisingly sturdy cast.  You’ve got to hand it to Ice-T.  Whether he’s in superior action pictures like Surviving the Game, a Leprechaun sequel, or a dreary Albert Pyun movie, he always brings his A-Game.  Likewise, Burt Reynolds lends the only real spark to the film as an American lawman in a cowboy hat.  He classes things up a bit and gets the best line when he says:  “I wouldn’t trust him if his balls were on fire and I had a bucket of water!”  The supporting cast is populated with Pyun regulars like Thom Mathews as Lowe’s best friend and Norbert Weisser as Reynolds’ partner.   

It’s just a shame that Lowe is such a washout as the eponymous character.  He mumbles, sports long, scraggily hair, and a big handlebar mustache.  That suggests to me he’s either hiding under his character or hiding from the audience in embarrassment.  Mario Van Peebles is also around as a rival gangster, but he doesn’t have much to do other than speak in a thick Jamaican accent and sit around and pet his chihuahua.

Pyun stacks the film with long, insufferable nightclub acts that are cut together like a bad music video.  That’s the big issue:  The editing.  The film is so overedited that even the simplest scenes feel confusing, or at the very least, clumsy.  (Speaking of editing, notice how Burt never appears in the same shot as anyone else in the finale.)  The dialogue is almost as bad.  In one scene, there’s an awkward discussion about Kool-Aid that sounds like a third grader trying to sound like Tarantino.  

Plus, Pyun bathes every scene in neon.  I think he was going for a comic book effect, but the whole thing comes off looking garish and ugly.  So… you know.  It looks like your typical Pyun joint. 

1 comment:

  1. i thought this was a decent film overall, very stylish but admittedly a bit confusing in parts.

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