NETFLIX AND KILL

Well, it’s that time of the year again.  It’s October and you know what that means:  Time for everyone who has a movie blog to spend each and every day watching and reviewing horror movies.  As you can see, it’s already October 5^th and I haven’t reviewed any yet, but fear not, I will be watching and reviewing at least 31 horror films this month.   

Usually when I do one of these things, I try to have a theme to tie everything together.  In past years, I have watched nothing but sequels and in other years I have wasted precious money watching crap I’ve found in the bargain DVD bin at Wal-Mart.  I finally started streaming Netflix this year and while browsing their selection I found a ton of horror movies, so I figured I’d watch 31 horror flicks to celebrate the Halloween season.    

This will be fun because the films I’ve chosen include a couple of horror sequels, along with a lot of low budget crap, so it should be a nice mix of what I have done in previous years.  I hope you all have as much fun reading about my plunge into the horror of streaming as I will writing about it. 

Here’s a couple of links to the previous years’ 31 Days of Horror-Ween reviews:  https://thevideovacuum.livejournal.com/tag/.the%2031%20days%20of%20horror-ween 

https://thevideovacuum.livejournal.com/tag/.the%2031%20movies%20of%20horror-ween

THAT’S ACTION (1990) **

Imagine That's Entertainment, but instead of clips of classic MGM musicals, it’s filled with clips of crappy AIP action movies.  Robert Culp is our host for this seventy-eight-minute compilation.  He’s usually great, but even he can't bring any spark into the lifeless script he’s been given (which was written by director David A. Prior, who conveniently directed a lot of the films featured).   

The clips themselves are uneven as hell and range from several minutes to only a few seconds.  Most of them look low rent.  I mean, just look at the scenes from Space Mutiny.  Are you really supposed to watch the scenes of Reb Brown being chased around in a futuristic golf cart in an abandoned warehouse and think to yourself, “THAT’S ACTION!”  If anything, the scenes from Space Mutiny showcase just how painful it must be to watch it without the benefit of the robots from Mystery Science Theater 3000. 

There are some highlights here, like the flying hand scene from Future Force, but they're more the exception than the rule.  Even though the emphasis is on action, we still get to see clips from horror movies like Aerobicide and The Lost Platoon.  Most of the fun though comes from seeing guys like Oliver Reed and Cameron Mitchell slumming it in such cheap-ass action junk.   

Culp teases a sequel at the end, but for one reason or another, it never happened.

VINEGAR SYNDROME SPRING 2017 CATALOGUE OF FILM (2017) ***

In a short span of time, Vinegar Syndrome has become one of the best home entertainment divisions around.  Their primary focus is on vintage smut, but they also cater to fans of ‘70s exploitation, ‘80s horror, and ‘90s VHS gems.  This three-disc DVD collection of trailers acts as a visual catalogue of all the films in their library.  Remember the Something Weird Sampler?  Well, it’s kind of like that, except it’s well over eight hours long.  Sitting through the entire thing is a daunting task, especially when two of the three discs are XXX rated.  If you break the discs up into one-hour blocks, it goes down a lot smoother.   

The only complaint is that many of the trailers for the films featured could not be located.  In the interest of posterity, newly-made trailers have been edited by Vinegar Syndrome and placed in their stead.  These (mostly brief) trailers don’t pack nearly the wallop as the original “vintage” trailers, but since they are only acting as a placeholder, they aren’t that much of a distraction. 

Because of its catalogue nature, it doesn’t flow as well as something like Trailer Trauma or the 42^nd Street Forever series.  Many trailers are entertaining on their own merits (like Prisoner of Paradise, Mai Lin vs. Serena, Hot and Saucy Pizza Girls, Taboo 2, and Night of the Spanish Fly), but a lot of them are just kind of cobbled together.  By the time you get to the third disc, some of the trailers start to repeat themselves because of their availability on blu-ray.  Still, just having all these trailers in one spot is pretty cool.  I’ve already jotted down some titles I should probably get my hands on, and in that respect, the disc(s) accomplished its goal.

POOR WHITE TRASH PART 2 (1974) * ½

You know you’re in trouble from the very first scene.  Two lovers sit outdoors, holding each other in their arms.  Then, the camera slowly dissolves to… the same shot of the two lovers holding each other in their arms!  That’s right, folks:  They pulled a Manos! 

At least this ineptness is interrupted by a not-bad scene where the lover boy gets an axe in his chest.  This sets his best gal a running through the woods where she meets a lecherous country bumpkin who takes her home and holds her prisoner while his equally trashy family members look on.  Eventually, the killer makes his way to their cabin and begins snuffing out the country-fried clan one by one. 

The director was S.F. Brownrigg, and if you’ve seen his Don’t Look in the Basement, you might already know what to expect.  Part ‘70s hicksploitation flick, part ‘80s-style slasher, Poor White Trash Part 2 is thoroughly unpleasant and is filled with long painful scenes of people shouting at one another in overdone southern accents.  Even though portions of the film are a chore to sit through, it fitfully comes alive whenever someone gets bumped off.  In addition to the aforementioned axing, there’s a decent scene where a guy gets his throat torn out with a rake and an OK barb-wire strangulation. 

This was originally released as Scum of the Earth, but it made much more money as Poor White Trash Part 2.  It’s funny because the first Poor White Trash wasn’t that film’s original title either.  That was a drama called Bayou, starring Peter Graves.  Naturally, the two pictures have nothing to do with one another. 

Suggested Drinking Game:  Take a shot every time the psycho patriarch says, "Fetch me a jar", and you'll be just as drunk and demented as he is.  

AKA:  Scum of the Earth.

BONNIE’S KIDS (1972) ***

Ellie (Tiffany Bolling) kills her lecherous stepfather (Leo Gordon) when he tries to rape her sister, Myra (Robin Mattson).  Together, they stash the body and take off for Los Angeles where they hit up their rich uncle (Scott Brady) for a place to stay.  Eventually, he ropes Ellie and a slow-on-the-draw private investigator (Steve Sandor) into a scheme involving a bag full of money.  She convinces the P.I. to take the money and run away with her and it isn’t long between her uncle’s associates (Alex Rocco and Timothy Brown) are in hot pursuit.

Bonnie’s Kids starts out as standard drive-in fare before slowly revealing itself as a quasi-Elmore Leonard type of crime picture.  Director Arthur Marks (who later had a great run of directing Blaxploitation flicks like Bucktown, Friday Foster, and J.D.’s Revenge) does a particularly fine job during the sleazy pre-credits sequence.  Some of the back-and-forth over the money gets a bit repetitive late in the game, but for the most part, Marks keeps things running smoothly, even when the film is hopping from genre to genre. 

The cast is great, which helps tremendously.  Tiffany (Wicked, Wicked) Bolling should have been a star.  Whenever she’s front and center, the movie really crackles.  Mattson is equally fine as the Lolita-like spitfire who plays with the affections of both men and women alike.  Old pros Rocco and Brady add extra dimension to their already colorful characters and leave memorable impressions as well.

T-BIRD GANG (1959) ***

John Brinkley watches in horror as his night watchman father is gunned down by a gang of thieves.  He vows revenge and infiltrates the gang to bring them down from the inside.  When Brinkley is arrested, he tells his plight to a concerned cop (Coleman Francis), who allows him to be a police informant.  It doesn’t take long for the seasoned ringleader of the gang (Ed Nelson) to smell a rat.  

In some ways, T-Bird Gang feels like an early Point Break prototype.  Written by co-stars Brinkley and Tony Miller (who plays one of Nelson’s crew), it’s only an hour long, moves at a breakneck pace, and has a cool jazzy score.  It’s also highly entertaining.  The performances are strong across the board too, with Nelson being the standout as the slimy kingpin.  Even Coleman Francis is rock-solid as the straight-laced detective on the case. 

Some viewers might feel cheated as this is sort of a bait-and-switch.  Even though it was sold as a juvenile delinquent movie, it’s actually a taut crime thriller.  If it’s JD kicks you’re looking for, I’m afraid you’ll have to look elsewhere.  If, however, you’re craving a brutally efficiently little B picture, T-Bird Gang should fit the bill nicely.  It’s a shame director Richard Harbinger didn’t direct anything else because he delivered a crackling potboiler on a meager budget and coaxed some fine performances from his cast.

BURY ME AN ANGEL (1972) *** ½

Dixie Peabody stars as a tough-talking, hard-drinking biker named Dag who is searching for the man who killed her brother.  The scene of him being shot is rather disturbing and is repeated several times throughout the picture.  (Even when she looks at herself in the mirror!)  Despite the fact we see it again and again, it never loses its punch. 

If you can’t already tell, director Barbara (Humanoids from the Deep) Peeters isn’t content on just delivering a run-of-the-mill biker movie.  Sure, she gives us all the scenes you’ve come to expect from the genre.  There are long scenes of motorcycle maintenance, campfire chill-outs, and more than a few montages of motorcycles riding down the highway while (not-bad) classic rock plays.  However, Peeters also gives us some trippy visuals, bizarre flashbacks, and a genuinely unnerving finale that makes Bury Me an Angel stand out from the rest of (the leader of) the pack.   

In addition to the finale (which I wouldn’t dream of spoiling) Bury Me an Angel has a couple of oddball sequences that keep the viewer amused.  I mean how many biker pictures do you know feature bikers meeting a witch in the desert for a bowl of “Pot Stew”?  And how many of those feature Dan Haggerty as a hippie art teacher? 

Speaking of teaching, there’s a great gonzo sequence where Peabody and her crew break into a school looking for her brother’s murderer.  They barge into the office, hold the principal at gunpoint, and taunt his secretary (all while “comedic” music plays).  Before they enter the school though, they’re stopped by two young students who say, “You can’t bring a gun to school!” 

Peabody replies, “I think it’ll be alright this once!” 

Wow. 

There’s also a psychological aspect to Bury Me an Angel that makes it memorable.  We really get under Dag’s skin and get to know what makes her tick.  A lot of that is due to Peabody’s great performance as the vengeful biker.  Even though she’s tough and mean, she gets to show off her delicate side too.  She’s especially memorable during the jaw-dropping ending.   

It’s not all perfect though.  The film has one of the most unconvincing bar fights in screen history.  All the breakaway furniture is painfully obviously, the fight choreography is childish, and the comic relief is more dumb than funny.  Still, just on the strength of its WTF moments and Peabody’s impressive performance, Bury Me an Angel is one biker picture worth digging up.