2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK (2012) **

Well, they say two heads are better than one.  Well, that’s what they SAY at least.  I’m not sure it exactly applies when it comes to killer shark movies from The Asylum.  Directed by Christopher-Douglas Olen Ray (Fred’s son), 2-Headed Shark Attack is better than your average Asylum killer shark flick, but it’s still not all that great.

The titular shark disables a boat full of college students on a field trip.  The captain, played by Charlie O’Connell (Jerry’s brother), decides the kids should head on over to a deserted island while his crew repair the ship.  Meanwhile, a two-faced fish starts a feeding frenzy around the island turning college coeds into chum.  

The CGI is appropriately cheesy, and some of the shark’s antics are genuinely amusing.  The opening scene where the two-headed beast comes out of the water to simultaneously chomp down on a pair of water skiers is fun.  I also liked how it tossed a victim back and forth between its two mouths.  We even get a scene where it eats skinny-dipping teens (well, topless ones anyway) in the midst of a three-way.  In an age where EVERYTHING is CGI, it did make me smile during the scenes in which the shark is clearly a set of rubber heads with some interns inside moving the jaws up and down.

These bits are dumb fun, but the film pretty much shoots its wad too early.  The second half, which focuses on the (mostly) annoying students are decidedly less enjoyable.  Once the teens become stuck on the island (which is about to sink into the sea), all they do is yell, whine, and argue with each other.  While these scenes don’t exactly derail the movie, they don’t do it any favors.  The unending predicaments the kids wind up facing in the third act gets to be a bit much by the end, and the prolonged climax just sort of sits there too.

Brooke Hogan (The Hulkster’s daughter) is OK in the lead.  She doesn’t have much in the way of screen presence, but she’s easy enough on the eyes and essays her Final Girl role to the best of her ability.  It’s nice seeing Carmen Electra as the captain’s wife, although you’ll wish she was given more to do besides sunbathe.

AKA:  Monster Shark Attack.  AKA:  Double Head Jaws.