MOIST FURY (2011) ** ½

“Moist” is one of those oddball words that incur a violent reaction inside certain people.  When they hear the word “moist”, they either freak out, act disgusted, or almost vomit.  Writer/director Chris (Return to Bloodfart Lake) Seaver knows this and gets some cheap mileage out of it.  I myself am one of those people who automatically thinks “moist” is hilarious, so I was probably already inclined to enjoy it.

Moist Fury follows a quartet of tough-talking post-apocalyptic lady brawlers who are in a gang called “The Crimson Queafs”.  When their leader Dewback (Hester Prynne) is ambushed and killed by a rival gang led by Doom Blade (Bill Thomas), her lover Andromeda (Desiree Saetia) goes out for revenge.  Aiding the gang in their quest is a badass named Death Bone (Billy Garberina, who talks like Stallone) who is vying to have the coolest name in the wasteland.  

If you’ve seen a Chris Seaver movie or two in your time, you may already know what to expect.  This one is a little more grounded in reality than many of his others (although it still has some outrageous characters spewing a stream of improbable obscenities).   It kind of resembles a Troma version of an all-female Warriors rip-off mixed with your standard DTV action movie.  

Seaver stages the action efficiently enough, especially considering the low budget.  Even though it’s closer to a “real” movie than what he normally makes, there is still plenty of funny moments along the way.  (I liked the fact that it took place in a post-apocalyptic world where Toblerone bars sell on the black market for seven bucks apiece.)  The overblown heavy metal music on the soundtrack is sometimes good for a laugh too.  

Moist Fury is a little light the gore department compared to some of Seaver’s other films, but I guess that’s expected since it’s more of an action flick.  That said, one girl gets stabbed in her lactating breasts.  So, there’s that.  

Is Moist Fury mostly a mess?  Kinda.  For every funny bit, there’s two or three clunky moments.  The mercifully short running time (it’s barely an hour long) certainly helps though.  

Best line, “You’re a bona fide member of the Clitterati!”