39 Stripes was the last film by Ron Ormond. Like all the movies he made in the last decade of his life, it is a Christian picture. Unlike If Footmen Tire You What Will Horses Do?, The Burning Hell, The Believer’s Heaven, and The Grim Reaper, it is not designed to scare the audience into accepting Jesus as their savior. Instead, it’s supposed to uplift them with an inspiring story of one man’s quest for spirituality.
Ormond was a lot more fun when he was scaring the Jesus into people, that’s for sure.
39 Stripes tells the true-life story of Rev. Ed Martin, who appears as himself in the prologue. As a reckless youth, the hotheaded Ed resorted to a life of crime to make ends meet. He is arrested for theft and sentenced to work on a chain gang, which does little to cool his hot temper. When he hears a religious sermon, it changes his perspective, and he starts to accept Jesus into his life.
This is frankly a slow, boring, preachy mess. It’s only an hour long, but it feels longer than the Hellish eternity Ormond depicted in The Burning Hell. There are no nutty quirks or bizarre imagery this time around, which will severely disappoint Ormond fans looking for another one of his wonderfully campy Christian Scare movies. While there is a brief religious recreation near the end, it isn’t nearly as weird as Ormond’s best stuff.
At all times, 39 Stripes looks and feels just like something they would show in Sunday School. I was nodding off almost instantly and had to resort to grabbing a cup of coffee to keep me awake. Even then, my eyelids were growing heavy by the end of the picture. Even the usually energetic Tim Ormond, who plays Martin, looks as if he’s merely going through the motions.
Unfortunately, this proved to be Ron Ormond’s final film. Even though it is by far the worst Ormond movie I have seen, his other pictures are really unique and wild. If Ormond believed what he preached, he’s up in Heaven looking down and enjoying seeing new generations of fans discovering his work.
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