HINDSIGHT IS 2020: WELCOME TO SUDDEN DEATH (2020) * ½

Welcome to Sudden Death is the sequel to the Jean-Claude Van Damme action flick, Sudden Death.  That movie was a Die Hard rip-off that took place at a hockey game.  The game in question actually went into sudden death overtime, thereby justifying the title.  The terrorist attack in Welcome to Sudden Death happens during a basketball game.  You know… a sport that doesn’t have sudden death overtime.  

That’s just the first tip-off (HA!  See I can make puns that are actually relevant to the sport at hand!) you are in trouble. 

Look, when I started this Hindsight is 2020 column, I may or may not have chosen to review bad movies on purpose to highlight what a bad year 2020 was.  However, this is one of the films I was legitimately excited for and genuinely wanted to see.  It’s a shame too because I like Michael Jai White and he deserves much better than an inane DTV Van Damme sequel. 

I usually grade DTV action movies (especially DTV sequels to twenty-five-year-old action movies) on a curve.  Welcome to Sudden Death flattened the curve.  Sadly, that was the only curve that was flattened in 2020.

First, let’s talk about the look of this thing.  Much of Welcome to Sudden Death resembles a Disney Channel movie with its bright colors and bland camerawork.  Director of Photography Mark Irwin has done everything from Cronenberg’s The Fly to Disney’s Air Bud spin-off, Super Buddies.  This looks like it could almost take place in the Air Bud franchise as everything is bright, sunny, and fake looking.  You know, everything a gritty DTV actioner should not be.  (It is the polar opposite to the smoky, dingy look that Peter Hyams gave the original.)  In fact, the first act kind of plays like a Disney Channel show, what with the comic domestic scenes of White trying to please his wife and putting up with his mouthy kids.  (If you excuse the obligatory military flashback, that is.)

The action is just as bad.  I don’t know if they just didn’t have enough planning time, but the fights feel overly choreographed.  Most of the time, it looks like a filmed rehearsal (or maybe a martial arts demonstration) and not a realistic fight.  White does get one good fight against his wife, Gillian, and even then, it’s over way too fast.  There’s a funny bit during a locker room brawl too.  However, that’s not nearly enough to sustain a Die Hard rip-off.

We do get one novel touch has the henchmen get around the security by 3D printing their guns after they’ve entered the building.  The main baddie is no Powers Boothe, but since it is impossible to hold him to that standard, I will instead say that he is far from the worst thing about the movie.  Unfortunately, he’s saddled with a annoying rapper who’s held hostage in the owner’s box throughout the film.  Speaking of annoying, White also gets saddled with a stupid fat sidekick who will get on your nerves and wear on them from the moment he appears on screen. 

I love Die Hard rip-offs as much as the next guy.  Even as a fan of the subgenre and Michael Jai White, I have to say this belongs on the lowest rungs of their respective ladders.  In short, Welcome to Sudden Death is dead on arrival.