Ron Ormond got his big break in pictures making Lash La Rue westerns. Before that, he got his start, like most performers of the era, in vaudeville. Varieties on Parade is more or less a filmed vaudeville show with lame comedy routines, ho-hum musical numbers, and a handful of name performers.
Eddie Garr acts as emcee. He isn’t very funny, but he keeps the acts moving along at a steady clip. First up are are a mother-daughter team of bicycle daredevils, followed by a pair of juggling “comedians”, Jackie (Uncle Fester!) Coogan, Jimmy and Mildred Mulcay (the harmonica duo that appear in many of Ormond’s films), a comedian who has a dog that does “tricks”, magician Ormond McGill, a woman who does a comedy number with two guys in a horse costume, and then another trick bicyclist (a solo act this time) performs. After that, Garr introduces Lyle (Plan 9 from Outer Space) Talbot, who does a routine about an “eight-day cigarette” with a sexy doctor. That’s followed by a cowboy star performing a country number before being joined on stage by Garr and Coogan, who help him sing another song. Then we get girls jumping on a trampoline, a comedic ballroom dancing duo, and a comedienne who tries to put the moves on Tom (Detour) Neal. Finally, there is a tap dancing duo (with a little person accompanying them on accordion), a bit where Coogan recreates his role as The Kid alongside a Chaplin imitator, a pretty duo do a song and dance number about Peggy Lee, and acrobats perform on a seesaw before the grand finale where everyone comes out for a curtain call.
Many of the performances are a bust, but it might’ve been worse had someone unfamiliar with the format not been at the helm. In fact, Ormond does a good job making the mundane acts seem cinematic. This is particularly evident in the opening scenes, which are shot in first-person. The camera glides along as you enter the theater, are greeted by the ticket taker, and led down to the front row by an usher. It’s a novel and effective way to make the viewer feel like a genuine vaudeville audience member.
Overall, Varieties on Parade isn’t very good, but at least you can get a glimpse of a dead artform preserved for all time. It should also be noted that Ormond’s wife, June served as an associate producer. This was at a time when the idea of a woman producer was almost unthinkable. She is definitely one of the trailblazers of her day, and it’s a shame she doesn’t get the recognition she deserves.
Coogan was later in Ormond’s Mesa of Lost Women.
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