(Originally posted July 17th, 2007)
Chesty Morgan returns in Doris Wishman’s follow-up to Deadly Weapons. If that flick was Death Wish With Big Boobs, this one is James Bond With Big Boobs. This time, Chesty is a spy with a camera implanted in her breast. After she kills someone, she takes out her gigantic boob and squeezes it, and there is a shutter effect. The camera will also self-destruct if she doesn’t complete her mission in time. She doesn’t smother anyone with her boobs this time, but she does use them to beat one guy up and puts chloroform on them to knock another guy out. Double Agent 73 isn’t as fun as Deadly Weapons, but it still has its moments. With the Wishman trademarks: lots of close-ups of feet, lots of bad dubbing and lots of big boobs. She even tosses in a Psycho shower scene rip-off for good measure. After this flick, Chesty parted company with Wishman and went on to work with Fellini!
DORIS DECEMBER NOTES:
1) Ah yes, another great Doris Wishman title sequence. This time, there’s a catchy James Bond-esque theme (which is fitting since it’s a spy movie) where Chesty flashes her tits at the audience at regular intervals. Since a camera has been implanted in her breast, there’s a shutter effect every time she does it, so it’s like she’s flashing us LITERALLY.
2) Another thing I love about the title sequence is the little cartoon sketch of Doris that accompanies her name in the credits.
3) There are plenty of Doris trademarks to enjoy, such as shots of feet, weird voiceovers, stolen nude volleyball footage from her old nudie movies, odd telephone conversations, and shower scenes with an overly bombastic score. (In this case, a murder sequence a la Psycho.)
4) I admit that the conceit of having a camera in your boobs isn’t as cool as killing someone with your boobs, but it’s just weird enough to work… well, in a Doris Wishman movie that is.
5) I think Chesty looks more attractive here than she did in Deadly Weapons. She’s photographed in more flattering light, her hair (READ: Wig) and make-up looks better, and her wardrobe is sexier (especially her outfit in the end). She still acts as stilted and bewildered as ever though. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
6) The surgery scene where the camera is implanted into Chesty’s boob is wonderfully inept. Surgery scenes would also crop up in Wishman's The Amazing Transplant and Let Me Die a Woman.
7) Oh, the camera in Chesty’s boob will blow up if she doesn’t complete her mission on time. I wonder if John Carpenter saw this before he made Escape from New York.
8) Despite not living up to the dizzying heights of Deadly Weapons, Double Agent 73 is chockful of scenes of Chesty killing people and then flashing her boobs at them. She also flashes her boobs every time she finds important documents. Because of that, it’s OK in my book.
9) The scene where Chesty has a problem removing a Band-Aid from her boob and Doris keeps the camera running is what Martin Scorsese would call, “CINEMA!”
10) The part where Doris suggests to the audience that the characters are in a nightclub by shining lights against flapping aluminum foil is fucking priceless.
11) The slow-motion fight scene in which Chesty uses a form of fighting that can only be described as “Titty Fu” is equally priceless. She may not kill the guy with them, but she shows that her massive mammaries are still deadly weapons after all.
12) Despite the fact that Chesty doesn’t kill anyone with her boobs, the scene where she murders a guy by shoving ice cubes down his throat is bizarrely effective.
13) Aside from the camera boobs, other James Bond-style gadgets include: Exploding lipstick, a whisky decanter that shoots gas, deadly earrings, and a firecracker ring.
14) The movie kind of runs out of steam by the end, but it still remains one of Doris’s best, if only for the unique screen presence that is Chesty Morgan.
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