(Streamed via Yuyu TV)
A rock band called Gothic Vampires from Hell enters a battle of the bands concert at a goth nightclub. There, they meet a record executive named Annastasia Nightshade (Gina DeVettori) who is looking for “new blood” for her label. That’s obviously code for “turn the group into vampires”.
Gothic Vampires from Hell: Battle of the Bands is a shot-on-video, microbudget horror flick that’s padded with musical performances and filled with annoying CGI effects. As far as these things go, it isn’t too bad. At least it’s short.
The guys look the part of goth posers they resemble dweebs dressed in The Crow cosplay. (The main guy is even named “Draven” for Christ’s sake.) The ladies in the group look out of place though as they just seem like skanks you’d see at a regular club. The music doesn’t seem very goth either as it sounds more like lightweight rock n’ roll. Also, you kind of have to laugh when the bands are in the midst of the big “battle of the bands” contest and the movie cuts away to maybe like twelve people in total in the bar listening to the music.
The gore is over the top though, which helps. I liked the scene where a dying guy delivered a long monologue while arterial spray continued to spew out of his gaping neck wound. In fact, you have to wonder if the vampires ever get any nourishment from their victims as so much blood erupts like a goddamned geyser from their necks.
The gore effects may be good, but the CGI is anything but. The animated bats are downright laughable, although I will admit CGI flames looked slightly better. That dancing CGI fairy (?) on the other hand? That’s truly WTF.
The only nudity comes courtesy of a BBW club girl who is put into a trance by one of the sexy vampires and is forced to strip. I also liked the red-tinted scenes from Nosferatu that were superimposed over the sex scene. That was a nice touch. If there was a little bit more skin, this might’ve skated by with a ** ½ rating, but who knows.
The big problem is that it’s heavily padded with mediocre musical numbers. Probably a third of the running time is devoted to the band playing their music on stage and/or the clubgoers stumbling around trying to dance. The ending is further padded out by repeating various kills that occurred during the film while the band performs their final number. Then again, it’s hard to completely hate any movie that uses about as much blood as the Red Cross goes through in a month, so for that and that alone, I can’t give it any less than **.
AKA: Gothic Vampires from Hell.
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