(Streamed via B-Movie TV)
Hugo Stiglitz flies around in his helicopter looking for hot chicks. When he finds the one he wants, he takes her back to his bachelor pad (an ancient monastery) where he cuts their heads off and preserves them under glass. Then, he feeds the rest to his pack of flesh-eating cats.
Directed by Rene (Guyana: Cult of the Damned) Cardona, Jr., The Night of a Thousand Cats is only 63 minutes long, but it’s a long 63 minutes. The thing that really drags it out is all the scenes of Hugo flying around in his helicopter. I’m not lying when I say that half the running time is devoted to Hugo in his helicopter spying on women. These scenes play out like a low budget Mexican version of Blue Thunder or something.
Once he gets them back to his house, the scenes of animal cruelty are kind of hard to take. Hugo tosses them around violently and even drowns one in a swimming pool. The shots of the (certainly not a “thousand” but probably over a hundred) cats corralled into a small space look like an ASPCA commercial waiting to happen. Seriously, any second you expect to hear Sarah McLachlan to pop up singing “Angel”.
There is one sequence that works: A flashback where Hugo’s mute servant chases his true love in super slow-motion intercut with Hugo hunting doves. Other than that, it is quite the chore to sit through. Don’t let the short running time fool you: That 63 minutes feels much, much longer.
Apparently, a ninety-minute version exists. I’m not sure if it features more explicit sex scenes (there’s only a smattering of nudity), but it wouldn’t surprise me if it was just a half hour more helicopter footage. As it is, The Night of a Thousand Cats is pretty reprehensible stuff. Then again, if you love Hugo Stiglitz, long helicopter rides, and wanton animal cruelty, it’ll be a Four Star movie for sure.
AKA: Cats. AKA: Night of 1000 Cats. AKA: Blood Feast.
No comments:
Post a Comment