MEN IN BLACK INTERNATIONAL (2019) **

 

Some Sony executive saw Thor:  Ragnarok and thought, “Oh, Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson are delightful together!  We really must put them in a Men in Black movie.”  And you know, it isn’t the worst idea in the world, especially when you consider the impetus for Men in Black 3 was, “Hey, Josh Brolin can do a wicked Tommy Lee Jones impression!  Let’s do a Men in Black movie where they go back in time and Brolin plays a younger version of Jones!”  At least director Barry Sonnenfeld was able to stretch that thin premise out and kind of make it work.  The same can’t be said for Men in Black International helmer F. Gary (The Fate of the Furious) Gray as the weak script (by Iron Man screenwriters Matt Holloway and Art Marcum) leaves the usually talented performers high and dry.

The problem is, Hemsworth isn’t give much of a character to play.  He’s basically a reckless himbo alien pussyhound.  Thompson has a little bit more to work with as her character has a stronger arc (she’s always wanted to be a Man in Black ever since she was a little girl).  However, once they are teamed up, there aren’t a whole lot of sparks.

The villains are weak too.  Rebecca Ferguson, who was one of the highlights of Doctor Sleep, gets outacted by her obnoxious wardrobe.  It looks like the character was intended to be played by Lady Gaga, but she refused, so they just stuck Ferguson into the outfit and said, “Have at it”.  It also doesn’t help that her gimmick is lame.  (She has three arms.)  The aliens are really derivative too as the twin baddies look like the dudes from The Matrix Reloaded but equipped with the liquid metal powers from Terminator 2.  At least Liam Neeson and Emma Thompson are around long enough to give the proceedings a little bit of class as senior Men in Black agents.

I never thought I’d say this, but I missed Will Smith.  As much as I like Hemsworth and Thompson in other movies, they just don’t have what it takes to carry a Men in Black flick.  We do get at least one hilarious sight gag at the expense of Hemsworth’s most iconic role.  Other than that, the laughs are few and far between, the aliens are unmemorable, the plot is forgettable (it’s another save-the-Earth-from-total-annihilation deals), and the special effects are just fine.

If you love the Men in Black movies, you’ll probably eat this one up, as at the very least it offers you a chance to see the MIB universe expand a little bit.  I like them OK, I guess.  After this ho-hum entry, it’s going to take a lot to get me excited for the next one.