ROCK MY WORLD (2002) * ½

Rock band Global Heresy is about to go on tour in Merry Olde England.  At their latest press conference, they announce they’ve hired a new bass player, played by Alicia Silverstone.  Peter O’Toole and Joan Plowright are stuffy aristocrats on the verge of bankruptcy who open their empty mansion to the band in exchange for some much-needed income.  They are so broke that they stoop to posing as the hired help and have to stand idly by while the band members rehearse, party, and generally cause a ruckus in their home.  Tensions rise when Silverstone abruptly quits, and the band has to continue on without her.

Directed by Sidney J. (Iron Eagle) Furie, Rock My World is an inane culture clash rock n’ roll comedy that doesn’t rock and isn’t funny.  It isn’t exactly dreadful; it’s just that there isn’t much of a movie here.  There isn’t really a plot, just a set-up, followed by a string of uninteresting complications (the band begins feuding, O’Toole’s niece stops by unannounced, etc.) parading around as subplots.  

Most of the humor revolves around O’Toole and Plowright getting pissy as the band makes a mess of their mansion.  None of it is especially funny either.  Whenever there is a lull in the dialogue (which is often), the band plays a song to pad out the running time.  The wimpy ‘90s rock they specialize in isn’t the worst you’ve ever heard, but it makes the music-heavy portions of the film a tough sit.

O’Toole and Plowright are old pros and get by on class alone.  That doesn’t disguise the fact that they deserve much better than this.  Silverstone, no stranger to rock after appearing in several Aerosmith music videos, does what she can, but even her pouty good looks while plucking a bass can’t save this turkey.

AKA:  Global Heresy.  AKA:  Band on the Run.  

THE FOURSOME (2006) * ½

Kevin Dillon reconnects with three of his high school friends during their twenty-year reunion.  The next day, they meet up for a couple rounds of golf.  On the golf course, they ruminate about their love lives, career, and station in life.  Predictably, their friendship is tested when they suspect each other of cheating with their spouses.  

Directed by William (Henry and the Hendersons) Dear, The Foursome is reminiscent in some ways to The First to Go as they both focus on men of a certain age at a crossroad in their lives.  While that film was packed to the gills with terrific actors, all this one has to offer is Kevin Dillon and a handful of annoying non-stars.  It doesn’t help that the humor is set to a sub-sitcom level.  The scenes of male bonding fall flat too, and the golfing humor isn’t funny either.  (There are scenes that wouldn’t have cut the mustard for Caddyshack 3.)  The film also loses whatever meager momentum it has earned whenever it switches focus to the characters’ wives gossiping in the gym while their hubbies are out on the course.

Dillon gets by solely by acting like a smartass.  He’s easily more charismatic and fun to watch that the rest of his golfing buddies.  The film was probably going to be forgettable from the get-go, but it might’ve been a little more tolerable had the supporting cast had been filled with actors who were closer to Dillon’s caliber.  As it is, it’s almost as if you’re watching Johnny Drama, but with an Entourage of nothing more than extras.

Ultimately, it’s hard to generate laughs when you’re saddled with a weak script and an amateurish supporting cast.  The seventy-nine-minute running time, which sounds like it would be mercilessly short, feels much longer.  Overall, you’d have more fun looking for your ball in the rough for that amount of time than you would watching The Foursome.

LIFE AFTER BETH (2014) *** ½

A grieving couple (John C. Reilly and Molly Shannon) are coping with the sudden death of their daughter, Beth (Aubrey Plaza) alongside her sad sack boyfriend Zach (Dane DeHaan).  When she miraculously comes back to life, her family tries to keep it a secret.  When Zach finds out, he’s overjoyed to spend time with her once again.  Naturally, the relationship gets very complicated once he realizes Beth is now a zombie.

Just when you thought you’ve had your fill of zombie comedies, along comes one that manages to surprise you and even tug at your heartstrings a little bit.  Written and directed by Jeff (The Little Hours) Baena, Life After Beth is a fresh, funny, and offbeat horror comedy that takes many tonal shifts throughout its running time.  (It starts out like Moonlight Mile and finishes like Shaun of the Dead.)  Many similar films would not survive such a whiplash in tone, but this one succeeds because of the versatility of the committed cast.

Plaza is perfectly cast as the zombie girlfriend.  She makes it difficult to tell if she’s a flesh eater, or just being adorably quirky.  Reilly and Shannon are terrific together and play both the dramatic and comedic scenes to a tee.  I also loved seeing Paul Reiser getting some great lines as DeHaan’s dad, and Garry Marshall has a hilarious cameo too. 

What makes Life After Beth work is that Baena isn’t treading the same old (burial) ground countless of zombie comedies have tread before.  He’s using them as a metaphor for not being able to tell a deceased loved one all the things you wanted to say to them while they were alive.  There’s also a little bit of a Deathdream/Monkey’s Paw thing going on too (even though Beth doesn’t come back as part of a wish; it just kind of happens), which gives it a tinge of sadness.  I also liked the way he snuck in the details of the impending zombie apocalypse on the outskirts of the action.  (It occurs in little bits of background business, which is perfect because it doesn’t come at the expense of the character development.)

In short, Baena breathes new life into a rotting genre. 

AKA:  Beth, a Zombie.

AVENGEMENT (2019) **

Hardened criminal Cain (Scott Adkins) is granted temporary leave from prison to visit his dying mother.  When the guards lead him into the hospital, he learns of her passing.  Enraged, Cain subdues the guards, escapes, and sets out on a rampage of revenge.

Avengement is yet another collaboration between Scott Adkins and director Jesse V. Johnson.  It’s not one of their best efforts, mostly because of the lackadaisical pace and awkward flashback-fueled structure.  (The framework involves Adkins holding people hostage in a pub while waiting for the man who betrayed him to show up.  In the meantime, he relates flashbacks to show how he got there.)  Another debit:  Most of the actors speak in thick, impenetrable British accents, which makes many of the dialogue-heavy scenes hard to follow.  (You’ll probably want to put the subtitles on for this one.)  

There are a couple of OK fights sprinkled about, but they’re nothing on the level of Adkins’ best stuff.  We do get a nasty prison brawl where he winds up the victim of a curb stomping and receives a garish set of metal teeth for his troubles.  The problem is most of the fights occur during montages, so it’s hard to appreciate them when they’ve been edited together in bunches.  

Adkins attacks his role with ferocity.  (The scenes where he goads the other prisoners to take him on have a bit of a Bronson vibe to them.)  I can’t fault his performance.  It’s just that the character is so shallowly written that he never quite comes to life.  The inert pacing and choppy narrative also help to drain interest from his character’s plight.

Usually, whenever Scott Adkins gets sent to prison, it makes for a good movie.  If you’ve ever seen any of the Undisputed sequels, you know exactly what I’m talking about.  Unfortunately, Avengement seems to be the exception to the rule.  

BLACK MASS (2015) ***

Director Scott Cooper’s Black Mass tells the story of how notorious South Boston gangster Whitey Bulger (Johnny Depp) rose to power, thanks to his FBI connections.  Whitey makes an alliance with his childhood friend, John Connolly (Joel Edgerton), who is now an FBI agent, and together, they take down his criminal adversaries.  The way Whitey looks at it, it isn’t snitching.  He’s merely using the Bureau to take out his competition.  When Whitey resorts to murder to keep himself on top, it jeopardizes his arrangement with Connolly and threatens to bring them both down.  

Black Mass is a well-acted, and slick looking crime drama.  While it’s always engaging, it stops short of being completely engrossing.  Even though we’re along for the ride as Whitey ascends to become the kingpin of Boston, we never really learn what makes him tick.  Many times, the film feels like it’s rushing towards its conclusion, and in the process, it shortchanges character development (the death of Bulger’s young son feels almost like a deleted scene that somehow wound up in the movie) in favor of plot development.

Even as far as Johnny Depp gangster movies go, Black Mass comes up a little short.  It’s missing the nuance and heart that made Donnie Brasco a classic and it lacks the thrill ride bravado of Blow.  (I did like the rise to power montage set to The Rolling Stones’ “Slave” though.)  I will say it’s a lot more fun than Public Enemies.  

The performances keep you invested, even when the movie itself feels like it’s on autopilot.  Depp is particularly great as Bulger.  With his gaunt face, receding hairline, and dark shades, he often looks like Hunter S. Thompson’s evil doppelganger.  It’s a truly menacing performance.  He’s especially chilling during a dinner table discussion in which he goes from congenial to killer in the wink of an eye.  I just wish the character itself was better written.  Then again, it’s easy to dismiss the so-so script when you have a supporting cast that includes Benedict Cumberbatch, Kevin Bacon, Peter Sarsgaard, Jesse Plemons, and David Harbour perfectly matched against Depp’s sinister portrayal of an amoral criminal.  

AKA:  Strictly Criminal.

BLOOD OF REDEMPTION (2013) **

After watching Altitude as part of the Direct to Video Connoisseur Podcast, I decided to take a chance on another latter-day Dolph Lundgren movie.  Blood of Redemption had the makings for a good one.  First off, get a load of the fantastic cast:  Vinnie Jones, Billy Zane, Robert Davi.  Sounds right up my alley, doesn’t it?  While the ingredients for success were there, the recipe left something to be desired. 

Dolph stars as Axel, the loyal bodyguard of a mobster family.  The patriarch of the clan, Sergio (Robert Miano) is about to retire, and he tries to convince his eldest son Quinn (Zane) to do the same.  When Sergio is assassinated, it’s up to Axel to figure out who was behind the hit and get revenge.

Blood of Redemption commits a lot of the deadly sins that can sink a DTV actioner.  First and foremost, it spreads its cast too thin.  They don’t get much screen time together, and when they do, it comes in small chunks.  It also relies far too heavily on narration in hopes to tying all those moments together.  In fact, it seems like Dolph’s sole purpose in the early going is that of a human exposition dump as he narrates the various flashbacks to get you up to speed on all the characters. 

Speaking of which, each time a new character is introduced, there’s a title card with their name on it accompanied by a whooshing sound effect.  This is one of my least favorite trends in recent DTV movies and I sank a little more in my seat each time a new character was introduced.  Another irritating trend in the DTV action world is the overreliance on painfully obvious CGI muzzle flashes and bullet hits during the shootouts.  Blood of Redemption features a lot of them, and it’s enough to make you wistful for the days of old-fashioned squibs.

It’s not all bad though.  There are occasional glimpses of awesomeness here that help to make it endurable.  As long as I’ve been watching these things, I never would’ve guessed I’d see the day when Robert Davi and Vinnie Jones would play father and son!  (You even get to hear Davi doing an English accent!)  Zane and Jones have good chemistry during a shady-deal-gone-wrong scene, enough to make you wish they had more scenes together throughout the movie. 

Dolph has a quiet intensity that powers his scenes.  Unfortunately, he spends way too much time in a hotel room trying to put the pieces of the plot together.  At least he gets to participate in the best fight scene of the movie when he busts into a sex club and winds up brawling with a karate-kicking dominatrix.  Fleeting moments like this almost redeem Blood of Redemption, but the fractured narrative prevents the film from getting your blood pumping.

Director Giorgio Serafini also worked with Dolph on Ambushed, Puncture Wounds, and The Tracker. 

AKA:  Outrage Gang.

Direct to Video Connoisseur’s review of Blood of Redemption can be found here:  www.dtvconnoisseur.blogspot.com/2013/11/blood-of-redemption-2013.html   

INTERZONE (1989) ***

In 1988, director Deran Serafian starred in Lucio Fulci’s bug nuts epic, Zombi 3.  When Fulci had a stroke, Claudio Fragasso (the man who would later go on to direct the immortal Troll 2) was brought in (along with Bruno Mattei) to finish the movie.  Serafian and Fragasso must’ve gotten along pretty well because they teamed up again the next year for this similarly bonkers post-apocalyptic actioner.  This time, Serafian directed and helped Fragasso write the script, and the result is a fun, uneven, and goofy blending of their sensibilities.    

Re-Animator’s Bruce Abbott stars as Swan, a loner who rides around the post-apocalyptic landscape in his modified dune buggy.  A group of psychic monks think he’s the key to stopping a warlord named Mantis (female bodybuilder Teagan Clive from Alienator) from taking over the wasteland known as “Interzone”.  They send out a monk named Panasonic (Kiro Wehara, Thong from Cave Dwellers) to convince Swan to join in the fight.  Naturally, they have to bribe him with the promise of treasure, and it isn’t long before Mantis wants her hands on the loot too.

Interzone kicks off with a memorable opening where Swan is forced to partake in a drinking game that manages to be reminiscent of both the poisoned wine scene in The Princess Bride and the Russian Roulette scene in The Deer Hunter.  This sequence culminates in what I think may be the only post-nuke barroom brawl set to an old timey player piano, making it feel like something out of a silent movie.  I think it might also be one of the few post-apocalyptic bar scenes in which the exotic dancer on stage is a man.

The scene where you know Serafian doesn’t take any of this seriously is when Abbott rescues Tera (Beatrice Ring) from the slave auction.  Not only does it feature a slow motion shot of Tera throwing her hair into the air seductively, it also contains a slow-motion fantasy scene where she and Swan run toward each other in a meadow.  It’s a long way to go to establish they’re falling in love at first sight, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t funny as hell.  He then proceeds to rescue her using his trusty whip (just like Indiana Jones), which leads to a prolonged car chase.

The editing is bad in some scenes.  When a character is bitten by a snake, all you are shown is a snake slithering in the grass and then a shot of a guy holding his hand.  You just have to accept it and move on. 

Sure, Interzone is uneven and clunky in spots, but it’s also just weird and unpredictable enough to keep you entertained.  Yes, there are some rough patches along the way.  Will I remember those moments?  Nope.  What I will remember is the part when Teagan makes Abbott her prisoner and forces him to participate in a 9 ½ Weeks-style sex scene.  I will also remember the scene that predates Army of Darkness in which an actor named Bruce gets tossed down a pit and does battle with a slimy monster in a fog shrouded dungeon.  I will even remember the cameo by Laura Gemser (with short hair!) as a pregnant woman who meet a gruesome demise.

Fans of Italian-made post-apocalyptic action movies are sure to enjoy this one.  There’s plenty of cheese to go around and even a few legitimately well-done action beats.  I’ll admit, you sometimes have to wait a while before the movie throws you a memorably-WTF scene, but brother, when it does… WOW.

Serafian went on to helm the immortal Terminal Velocity.