14 BLADES (2014) **

Donnie Yen stars as the head of the royal palace guard who was raised from childhood to protect and serve using fourteen sacred blades.  Yen’s mission is to transport a sacred royal seal, but when he is set up and double-crossed, he grabs the seal and heads off to the hills, taking a woman hostage (Zhao Wei) to secure his getaway.  As Yen is hunted down by his own men, he and his captive form a bond.  Together, they wind up fighting alongside a bandit leader (who looks a lot like Captain Jack Sparrow) to take down the corrupt palace guards.

14 Blades has a decent amount of action, although many of the swordfights are marred by too much slow motion (like Yen’s fight with a dreadlocked swordswoman).  They also suffer from some truly laughable CGI.  The scene where the swordswoman’s robe dances in the air as she quickly runs around fighting is extremely cheesy.  

Despite that, there are a handful of memorable moments here.  I liked the badass scene where Yen takes on a bunch of guys singlehandedly while eating a drumstick.  There’s also a pretty good fight where a victor must be declared before a coin stops spinning.  Yen is good, as always, but even he can’t singlehandedly save this slowly-plotted affair.  I did enjoy seeing Sammo Hung popping up as the bitter, legless villain, although he was never really given enough to do for my liking.  

Mostly though, 14 Blades is just too withdrawn and sullen to be much fun.  There are too many lulls in between the action, and the romantic subplot is ineffective for the most part.  Also, at nearly two hours, it’s way too long and inconsistent to be considered a winner.  

AKA:  The Brocaded Robe Guards.