Thursday, January 5, 2023

JANUA-RAY: THE LEMON GROVE KIDS (1968) **

Most directors start small and then work their way up.  Not Ray Dennis Steckler.  His first three movies, while still pretty cheap, had ambition, stars (well, Arch Hall, Jr. and Liz Renay, but still), and looked much bigger than their budget would imply.  By the time he made Rat Pfink a Boo Boo and The Lemon Grove Kids, he was making movies in his backyard for peanuts, using friends and family behind and in front of the camera.  That kind of handmade look is endearing.  

However, While Rat Pfink a Boo Boo is charming, inventive and fun, this is kind of a chore to sit through.  I think the whole premise of the movie started by someone stating that Steckler bore a passing resemblance to Huntz Hall from The Bowery Boys.  That must’ve sparked Ray to make his own Bowery Boys rip-off.  He also used the same basic structure of a Three Stooges short as the film is comprised of three short subjects starring “The Lemon Grove Kids”.  

“The Lemon Grove Kids”(* ½) has the Lemon Grove Kids getting into a tussle with their rival gang.  It’s decided that they should hold a race to settle their differences once and for all.  Naturally, the other gang try to sabotage the race.

From the perplexing silent movie title cards to the overdone sound effects to the painfully unfunny slapstick, The Lemon Grove Kids is pretty crummy in just about every way.  Comedies (especially cheap-o ones like this) that aren’t funny are often the hardest kinds of movies to stomach.  At least things end on a high note during the fun scene where Steckler winds up interrupting the filming of Rat Pfink a Boo Boo.  How meta!  The final bit where he is inexplicably pursued by a mummy goes on a bit too long though.

The second short is “The Lemon Grove Kids Meet the Green Grasshopper and the Vampire Lady from Outer Space” (**).  In this one, the Kids get hired to clean up the brush in Coleman Francis’ backyard.  Aliens led by a vampire woman (Carolyn Brandt) abduct some of the kids.  It’s then up Slug (Mike Kannon) and Gofer (Steckler) to save them.  

The Bowery Boys met monsters and ghosts, but they never got to tangle with aliens.  I guess having The Lemon Grove Kids go toe to toe with UFOs wasn’t the worst idea in the world.  After a longwinded set-up, the finale is pretty good… well, up until everything descends into chaos.  Once again, there are no real laughs to be had, but Brandt looks sexy in her Vampira-inspired get-up.  She’s easily the most memorable part of this segment.  Steckler’s daughter, Laura, who plays the youngest member of the “Kids”, Tickles, steals scenes by just being cute as a button.  

“The Lemon Grove Kids Go Hollywood!” (**) is the final segment.  This time out, the Kids get work doing odd jobs for movie star Cee Bee Beaumont (Brandt, playing the same character she did in Rat Pfink a Boo Boo, making this a shared cinematic universe long before Marvel made it trendy).  Two bumbling criminals try to kidnap her, and the usual hijinks ensue.

This one is just sort of ho-hum.  It’s not as painfully unfunny as the first sequence, but it lacks the charm of the second one.  Once again, Tickles is the best part.  She definitely deserved her own spin-off.

Director’s Signatures:  A long chase scene, musical numbers, a bizarre mash-up of genres, and at some screenings, people dressed like monsters ran out into the audience.  

Steckler’s Stock Player Round-Up:  Mike (The Thrill Killers) Kannon, Coleman Francis, Herb Robins, producer George Morgan, Ron Haydock, Carolyn Brandt, and Kogar the Gorilla.

Co-director Ted Roter, like Steckler, later wound up working in the porn industry, and his last XXX film was the first porno I ever saw, Scandalous Simone.

AKA:  The Lemon Grove Kids Meet the Monsters.

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