JANUA-RAY: COUNT AL-KUM (1971) * ½

Count Dracula’s nephew, Count Al-Kum (Jerry Delony from Invitation to Ruin and Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks) is awakened from his coffin and interviewed.  He tells two offscreen reporters about his attempts (and failures) to pick up women.  They then give him a book called “1001 Ways to Seduce Women” and he goes out and looks for more babes.  Time and again, he fails miserably to woo the ladies and is forced to watch as his Uncle Dracula repeatedly cockblocks him with trollop after trollop.   

This is another one of Ray Dennis Steckler’s vampire pornos.  Even though it’s only forty-nine minutes long, it’s still something of a chore to watch.  That’s mostly because of Steckler’s slipshod handling of the sex scenes.  He basically sits the camera across the room from the action and only occasionally zooms in for a close-up.  The one time he does manage a decent close-up, the lighting is so poor that it’s hard to tell what’s going on.  He also overdoes it on the kaleidoscope effects, which do nothing to enhance the sex scenes.  At least Dracula doesn’t have a problem getting hard, which is more than I can say for most of the male leads in these Steckler pornos.

Delony is amusing as the titular vampire, but he isn’t exactly funny as the lines he’s been given wouldn’t cut it at an open mic amateur night.  The scenes of Al-Kum stalking potential victims (sometimes in broad daylight) play almost like a silent movie routine, although they fail to garner any laughs.  The only genuinely laugh-out-loud scene occurs when Dracula bangs a chick outdoors and puts his cape down on the ground, so they don’t get dirty when they screw.  

As far as Steckler’s signature touches, he does give us quite a few nice scenic shots of the Las Vegas Strip (where actors and unaware extras look directly at the camera).  Like The Mad Love Life of a Red Hot Vampire, this is another vampire themed XXX film from Steckler, although it can’t even clear the admittedly low bar that movie set.  And the only members of Steckler’s Stock Player Company this time around seems to be Delony, who later appeared in Steckler’s Dr. Cock Luv.  

AKA:  Count All-Cum.  AKA:  Count Alcom.  AKA:  Count Alkum.  AKA:  The Horny Vampire.