Tuesday, January 17, 2023

TUBI CONTINUED… THE NECRO FILES (1997) ****

Detectives Manners (Steve Sheppard) and Sloane (Gary Browning) kill a serial killer named Logan (Isaac Cooper) who murdered and raped over “two hundred women”.  Nine months later, some Satanists sacrifice Logan’s illegitimate baby over his grave and bring him back to life.  You may think a scene where a baby is sacrificed is in poor taste, and it would be if director Matt Jaissle didn’t use such an obvious baby doll.  By not hiding the fact they are using a dime store doll, this scene achieves a kind of weird, blissful, surreal aura. 

But you haven’t seen anything yet.  To complete the incantation, one of the Satanists has to pee on Logan’s grave.  That successfully brings him back to life, and the first thing he does once he is resurrected is rip the guy’s dick off and stab someone with it.  Now, we’ve seen a lot of movies where a guy gets stabbed IN the dick.  I think The Necro Files is the first movie in history where someone gets stabbed WITH a dick.  

Anyway, two of the Satanists survive the attack.  They feel bad about bringing Logan back to life, especially now that he is a zombie, he eats his victims after raping and killing them.  They attempt to reverse the spell, and in doing so they… ah shit, man.  I won’t spoil it for you.  That scene made me laugh harder than anything in recent memory.  The scene where the zombie rapist finds true love is pretty damned funny too. 

I will say that the final confrontation between the cops and the zombie isn’t quite as good as the stuff that preceded it.  That’s okay.  When the first hour of your Shot-on-Video horror movie is this riotously gross and hilarious, I can forgive a finale that’s only “pretty decent”.  

The Necro Files has many legitimately great moments blended together with scenes of Ed Woodian levels of WTF weirdness.  Even with its low budget and Shot-on-Video aesthetic, it manages to impress with some inventive camerawork and editing, while simultaneously reveling in its bad taste, no-budget grunginess.  It’s a special movie and one of the best SOV horror flicks ever made.  

It also contains some of the best bad acting I’ve ever seen.  Especially by Browning, who is the standout among the cast.  His hateful monologues, slurred delivery, and awkward phrasing is a bad movie fan’s dream come true.  I had a big stupid grin on my face every time he was on screen.  Also, be on the lookout for porn star Dru Barrymore (the only “star” in the film) as a victim in a tent.

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