Here’s another crappy Fake Emmanuelle movie from the makers of The Awakening of Emanuelle. This time, Shoko Rice, who had a small role as Lilly in the first movie, stars as “Emmy”. That’s right. Emmy. Not Emanuelle. If The Awakening of Emanuelle was the world’s first fake Fake Emmanuelle movie, this has got to be the world’s first fake Fake Fake Emmanuelle movie. (To be fair, she does say, “Call me Emanuelle”, but it’s at the very last second of the movie, which is a rip-off if you ask me.)
Remember in The Awakening of Emanuelle how Emanuelle had a bunch of mind-numbing narration? Well, in this one they eschew the narration for an opening scene where Rice delivers a longwinded monologue directly into her mirror. When her husband (Chris Spinelli, playing a different character than he did in the first movie) catches her spouting off about God knows what, he asks out loud what the audience has been silently wondering, “Are you high?”
Anyway, Emmy looks into her husband’s phone, and finds evidence her man has been cheating. She drops him like a bad habit and shacks up with a dorky bartender (Shane Ryan-Reid). Since he’s a religious nerd, he isn’t ready when she introduces blindfolds and rope bondage into their sex life. Naturally, it all ends in heartbreak.
Call Me Emanuelle is less linear than Awakening, which makes it a little more frustrating. However, it does have a bunch of multi-colored S & M fantasies/dreams/flashbacks (one set to an electronic remix of “Happy Birthday to You”?!?), so it has that going for it. Too bad, like its predecessor, there’s no actual nudity.
Emmy’s relationship with the bartender holds promise. At first, it feels like it’s leading up to be sort of a reverse 50 Shades of Grey situation. Unfortunately, the dude is so cluelessly inept that the bondage scenes (which are short and tame) never build up any steam.
Emmy’s boss gets the best line of the movie when he tells her to “Stroke the teat of possibility!”
And so ends the first month of my daily Tubi watching project. So far, I have watched 31 movies in 31 days. One month down. Eleven more to go.
At the start of the month, I had 365 movies in my Tubi watchlist. At the end of the month, I have 441. How can that be, you ask? Well, because I keep adding more and more stupid shit to my watchlist, that’s why. What other weird, dumb, or just plain bad movies does February have in store?
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