Return of Hanejiro is supposed to act as a footnote to the events of the Ultraman Dyna series. Like Ultraman Tiga Side Story: Revival of the Ancient Giant, it’s only about forty-five minutes long. However, the budget is much lower than any of the Ultraman movies I’ve seen this week. In fact, it looks cheaper than an average Ultraman episode. While the giant monsters aren’t too shabby, the human-sized creatures look more like sports mascots. The rest of the special effects aren’t too hot either.
A trio of comic relief aliens disguised as humans come in possession of an egg. When it hatches, an annoying alien baby comes out. They are mistakenly blamed for an imminent alien invasion and go on the run with the yapping alien brat in tow. Meanwhile the real perpetrator, a sexy android woman in a blonde wig and sunglasses, goads Ultraman into battle.
The Ultraman fights are okay. He does battle with a giant red dragon monster, and the final monster is kinda cool too. It’s just a shame that the brawls don’t last very long. The smaller scale fights suffer from a lot of Matrix-inspired Kung Fu, and they are all pretty lame. I know the low budget was probably the main culprit here, but the action never quite helps the film rise above the weak kiddie crap material; it merely prevents it from circling the drain.
The other monsters suffer from being overly cutesy or just plain cheap looking. (The alien baby looks like a bargain bin Furby.) All the allegedly comic shenanigans with the three aliens is hella annoying too. Every time these bozos show up, it stops the movie on a dime and seriously gets in the way of Ultraman doing his thing. Overall, Ultraman Dyna: Return of Hanejiro is about as bad as an episode of the fucking Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, if you can believe it.
Power Rangers actually isn't that bad of a show IMO.
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