After being suckered into watching Dustin Ferguson’s clip show of Dustin Ferguson movies parading as an actual movie, I Drip Blood on Your Grave, you’d think I’d be smart enough not to fall for the same trick twice. Well, yes and no. Horror Movie Workout isn’t a clip show of Dustin Ferguson movies parading as a horror movie. It’s a clip show of Dustin Ferguson movies parading as a horror movie that ALSO has behind the scenes footage, trailers, and a music video tossed in there as well.
It’s “hosted” by frequent Ferguson starlet Jennii Caroline who shows clips and does an occasional workout routine. It all ends with Jennii inviting a bunch of her friends over for a slumber party. Naturally, a slasher shows up to spoil the “fun”.
Throughout the film, we see clips from Escape to Black Tree Forest, The Legacy of Boggy Creek, 7 Down, Silly Scaries 2, and even a clip from I Drip Blood on Your Grave (under the title Holy Roller). There’s also snippets from Doll Killer and a long scene that’s purportedly from Black Tree Forest 3, but it’s obviously just a home movie of someone on vacation at an amusement park. Oh, and there’s also behind the scenes footage too, including bloopers of the cast and crew dicking around on location during the filming of Escape to Black Tree Forest, and trailers for Die, Sister, Die and Gloved Murderess.
Just when you think it can’t get any worse, we get a long scene of people sitting around and watching a lame music video in real time. Let me tell you: The only thing worse than watching a lame music video is watching other people watch a lame music video.
After a lot of talk and a long series of clips, we do finally get some nominal workout scenes of Caroline stretching and leading slashers in a round of calisthenics. These scenes were obviously inspired by Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout and could’ve been fun if done right. The problem is there’s not nearly enough of them to really justify the title. In fact, the only thing that gets a workout is the audience’s patience.
It also doesn’t help that many of these clips also turned up in I Drip Blood on Your Grave. I think a lot of my restlessness was due to my overfamiliarity with many of these clips. Your mileage may vary.
Even with that caveat, Horror Movie Workout is a tough sit. It’s only 45 minutes, but you’ll wish it was shorter. One of the clips features a scene where the characters watch a clock on the wall. You’ll be doing the same thing by the time it’s over. Who says life doesn’t imitate art?
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