FORMAT: DVD
Eugene (writer/director John Bacchus) is a nerd who still lives in his mom’s basement. He brings Dracoola (Tina Krause) back to life by performing a ritual over her ashes, and she promptly drinks his blood for his trouble. Dracoola then orders Eugene to murder Van Helsing’s descendent, Wally (John Paul Fedele), a slick CEO at “Big Business, Inc.” who has reverted back to his original nerdy state ever since Dracoola’s resurrection. While Eugene stumbles around looking for Van Helsing, he spies on various women partaking in lesbian sex.
Your enjoyment of the movie may hinge on whether you can stand Bacchus and Fedele’s annoying nerdy performances or not. I found most of the humor to be excruciating, myself. A lot of the jokes revolve around shit, Fedele appearing in drag (as his own fairy godmother), and there’s a random scene with a scruffy looking Muppet that’s more perplexing than anything. The only good joke is when Bacchus cuts away from the plot to a title card that reads, “Another Gratuitous Sex Scene”.
Speaking of which, it takes a good twenty minutes or so before anything remotely erotic happens. Of course, I’m talking about the scene where Bacchus spies on Misty Mundae deflowering virginal Sandy Hitchcock. It’s a tender and romantic scene that is far better than all the dumb comedy shit that preceded it. Later, we get a series of scenes where A.J. Khan sexually harasses potential employees (including Darian Caine and Katie Jordan) during their job interviews. They aren’t connected to the plot in any way, but they are the only things in the entire film that are worth a damn.
If it wasn’t for the sex scenes (especially Misty’s), Vampire Vixens would’ve been totally worthless. Even then, much of the movie that doesn’t involve lesbian lovemaking is a chore to sit through. Oh, and did I mention there’s only ONE Vampire Vixen? What a rip-off!
I thought this one had some funny moments.
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