FORMAT: DVD
Ross Hagen is babysitting a team of army washouts when their plane goes down near an uncharted island. Lucky for them (and the audience), the place is populated with sexy cavewomen in loincloths. They capture the soldiers and prepare them for a life of slavery. However, when they see Richard Gabai’s happy face tattoo, they believe he’s a legendary hero sent by the gods to kill “The Great One” (AKA: A Tyrannosaurus Rex).
When the reigning kings of Skinamax, Jim Wynorski and Fred Olen Ray team up to make a T & A dinosaur picture, you know you’re in for something special. Dinosaur Island is steeped in Sci-Fi clichés from the ‘50s but updated with copious amounts of nudity you’d expect from a Skinamax flick of the ‘90s. There are also nods to King Kong, the works of Harryhausen, and old Hammer movies, which adds to the fun.
Wynorski and Ray were of course cashing in on Jurassic Park. They even stoop to reusing the dinosaur from Roger Corman’s Jurassic Park rip-off, Carnosaur for their showstopping monster. Other times, the dinosaurs appear as a hand puppet who eats a G.I. Joe action figure or as old-fashioned stop-motion animation. The anything-goes kitchen sink approach to the effects is one of the movie’s many charms.
The best special effects though belong to the female cast. Any movie that features Griffin Drew, Antonia Dorian, Michelle Bauer, Toni Naples, Nikki Fritz, Becky LeBeau, and Deborah Dutch as sexy cavewomen is certainly going to be recommended viewing for me. Even if Dinosaur Island is far from perfect, it features a lot more T & A than that Spielberg flick, that’s for sure.
Dinosaur Island is little more than an excuse to show scenes of sexy cavegirls running around in skimpy loincloths, going skinny-dipping, soaking in hot spring baths, and getting into catfights. For that and that alone, it gets the job done. I just wish the jokes were funnier. I mean some of the wordplay is right out of an Abbott and Costello movie and many of the gags are corny and strained (like the use of slide whistles and comic sound effects to punctuate various punchlines).
It may not be the definitive pairing of Wynorski and Ray’s talents, but with this much nudity, an abundance of cool dinosaurs, and a quick pace, it’s hard to complain.
The best joke comes when Gabai says, “Sticks and stones may break our bones, but names will never hurt us!”
The cavewomen reply, “We have sticks… and stones… let’s break some bones!”
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