Wednesday, October 23, 2024

SPECTERS (1989) **

While digging around in the catacombs underneath the Coliseum, professor Donald Pleasence accidentally awakens an ancient evil.  Naturally, a rival prof doesn’t care about that shit.  He just wants to get his hands on the trinkets Pleasance found down in the catacombs.  Pretty soon, a rubbery monster is running around the underground of Rome killing off the professor’s assistants. 

Specters is kind of disjointed as it has too many characters and not a whole lot of plot.  There are long stretches of it that doesn’t make much sense either.  Like most Italian horror flicks, you either go with it or you don’t.  Some of this works in fits and starts, but it has more fits than starts. 

I can only imagine how much more entertaining this all could’ve been had Pleasence overacted a little bit.  It probably wouldn’t have saved the movie, but it couldn’t have hurt.  Every time it looks like he has an opportunity to chew the scenery, he just passively drifts off.  It’s like he told the filmmakers, “Oh, I’d love to chew the scenery fellas, but you see I’m on a diet.  Doctor’s orders, you know.” 

Still, it’s not all bad.  There’s a cool dream scene reminiscent of Nosferatu, the Creature of the Black Lagoon-inspired monster during the movie-within-the movie scenes is pretty nifty, and we get some (but not much) gore, including throat ripping, head crushing, and face clawing.  There’s also a little T & A in there to spice things up, albeit not a whole lot.

The oddest moment comes when someone dies from falling into a stained-glass window in the shape of the MGM lion.  I’m not sure if that was a purposeful jab at the American studio system or what.  What I can say is that I haven’t seen that in a movie before.  Plus, the cheesy ’80s Italian fashions are good for a giggle or two. 

AKA:  Spectre.  AKA:  Catacombs.

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