Before he became best known as John Bacchus and made a bunch of softcore parodies for Seduction Cinema, Zachary Snygg directed a couple of shot on video films with long, outrageous titles. Sad to say, The Heaping Bouncy Breasts That Smothered a Midget isn’t a patch on The Bloody Video Horror That Made Me Puke on My Aunt Gertrude.
A teacher snaps and buys a bunch of guns. He then turns vigilante and goes around killing people. He even takes to offing the students who disrupt his class. The kids eventually discover his secret and try to turn the tables on their tutor.
I might’ve been more forgiving if this was called “Vigilante” or something, but the title is a total bait-and-switch. At least The Bloody Video Horror That Made Me Puke on My Aunt Gertrude had a plot that matched its title. (Even if there wasn’t an Aunt Gertrude to be found.) I mean, not only are there no heaping bouncy breasts in sight; there isn’t even any women in the film! What a rip off.
Speaking of rip-offs, Snygg blatantly steals Ennio Morricone’s score from The Dollars Trilogy for the vigilante scenes and even stoops to ripping off the shootout from A Few Dollars More. (Other scenes swipe Billy Idol’s “Dancing with Myself” and The Clash’s “Should I Stay or Should I Go”.) It should be said that the shootouts are OK, considering the nonexistent budget.
The budget was so low that there’s only three people in the cast. In fact, most of the supporting characters are played by Snygg wearing different hats, fake mustaches, and using annoying voices. None of his shtick is remotely funny, and it doesn’t even look like he tried to hide the fact he’s playing various roles. Fortunately for Snygg, he got much better as he went along. (This was his first film after all.) Heck, in a decade’s time, he would actually be making movies featuring heaping bouncy breasts. I think I’ll stick with those pictures.
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