THE 31 MOVIES OF HORROR-WEEN: MOVIE #27: THE DARK POWER (1987) ***

Writer/director Phil Smoot only made two movies, this and 1985’s Alien Outlaw.  Both films starred old time cowboy star Lash LaRue.  And they say there’s no such thing as “Auteur Theory”. 

A Native American mystic dies and his house becomes a half-assed sorority for a bunch of college girls.  Unbeknownst to them, the place is actually a burial ground for ancient evil Toltec shamans.  Eventually, the shamans rise from the grave and attack the sorority girls.  Naturally, the only one who can save them is Lash LaRue. 

LaRue plays a forest ranger in this.  I’m not sure, but I don’t think his bullwhip is standard issue equipment for a forest ranger.  There’s a scene early on where Lash saves a boy from a pack of wild dogs using his trademark bullwhip that feels like something out of a Family Channel movie. 

Honestly, The Dark Power has too many moving parts.  In addition to these scenes of derring-do by Lash, you have to sit through a lot of exposition about the house and all the Native American mumbo jumbo that’s involved with it.  There’s also a lengthy a subplot about a racist sorority sister and her lousy brother who are harassing the lone black girl in the group.  Fortunately, many of the sorority girl scenes revolve around them running around in skimpy outfits, exercising, and taking bubble baths.  I particularly loved the sorority house’s rumpus room that had posters of The Godfather, The Blues Brothers, Elvira, and Star Trek:  The Motion Picture on the wall.  (Although I’m not sure if the sorority girls put them up or if they were left over from the previous owner.)

I’m not going to lie.  Things are pretty spotty for the first forty-five minutes or so.  Once the film finally finds its footing, it’s pretty damned entertaining.  The zombie shaman are goofy and overly rubbery looking, but I’ll gladly take them over the usual pasty-faced zombies any day, especially when they attack their victims with bows and arrows and tomahawks.  Even crazier is the fact that when they start doing comic relief Three Stooges-style shtick it manages to be surprisingly funny.  The gore is great too and includes an incredible face ripping scene.

The dialogue is equally superb.  There are plenty of choice lines, among them:  “Toltec sorcerers are bad dudes!”  The best line though is reserved for LaRue when he gets the drop on the zombies and says, “Feel my whip, you son of a bitch!”