Thursday, October 15, 2026

THE 31 DAYS OF HORROR-WEEN: PRE-GAME: ANACONDA: DEATH COIL (2026) **

Xumo Play is kind of a lesser streamer but it’s one I still occasionally watch.  Anaconda:  Death Coil is the first Xumo Original I’ve ever seen.  I didn’t even know Xumo did original movies.  I guess they have to keep up with Tubi somehow. 

In case you’re wondering, this isn’t a sequel to the Jennifer Lopez movie.  (Or the Paul Rudd one.)  I assume that since you can’t really trademark the word “Anaconda”, you can make an Anaconda movie without Sony suing your pants off.  Because of this, it’s my sincere wish that Anaconda becomes the next Amityville type of franchise where anyone with a fake snake can make an Anaconda movie.  (Hopefully culminating in a crossover appropriately called Amityville Anaconda.)

Five friends head out into the woods for a girls’ weekend.  The creepy caretaker warns them not to venture into the woods, which of course one of them does.  She becomes Snake Chow and the rest of the gals go looking for her.  The ladies soon realize their haggard host is actually using them as sacrifices for his giant pet snake. 

Anaconda:  Blood Coil is another one of those British horror flicks that have been creeping over onto our shores in recent years like Winnie the Pooh:  Blood and Honey and Amityville Scarecrow.  It’s no Hammer, that’s for sure.  It’s one of those cheap horror films where characters say lines such as, “It’s like a bad movie” to excuse the cliches and its overall chintzy nature. 

The CGI snake isn’t bad exactly, it’s just that the filmmakers reuse the same shot of it slithering about way too many times.  The purple-tinged POV shots are likewise overused.  When it does come time for the Anaconda to get one of the ladies wrapped up in its “Death Coil”, the results are fairly decent, although the film really needed more kills of this caliber to be truly worthwhile.  Also, the climax, which takes place in the heart of the serpent’s lair, lacks… ahem… bite. 

The good news is the running time is a merciful seventy-four minutes.  Anything longer than that would’ve been overkill.  Fortunately, the filmmakers knew when to quit.  More contemporaries could take a page out of their playbook.

Overall, Anaconda:  Death Coil isn’t the first, last, best, or worst low-budget CGI snake movie I’ve seen.  It’s just the first one I’ve watched on Xumo Play.  That makes it at the very least notable. 

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