THE RETURN OF BRUNO (1987) ***

When I was a kid, one of the first records I ever owned was Bruce Willis’ The Return of Bruno.  He was then (and still) one of my favorite actors and I unironically loved the album, especially “Comin’ Right Up” and “Jackpot (Bruno’s Bop)”.  Somehow, I never saw the accompanying HBO Special.  I guess I always assumed it was just a concert where Bruce plays the songs from the album, but it’s actually a star-studded mockumentary.  This is Spinal Tap it is not, but for fans of ego-stroking vanity projects, it’s a must-see. 

This is essentially a “Where are They Now” type of program hosted by none other than Dick Clark about the rise and fall of a musician named Bruno Radoloni (Willis).  He plays on American Bandstand, performs at Woodstock, experiments with psychedelic music, and sings “Under the Boardwalk” with The Temptations.  He then sort of disappears after the failure of his disco album. 

Guest stars and interviewees include Phil Collins, Elton John, Brian Wilson, and Grace Slick musing about Bruno’s influence on music and pop culture.  Ringo Starr states Bruno had a hand in forming The Beatles, The Bee Gees claim he helped them come up with Saturday Night Fever, and Paul Stanley asserts Bruno was the one who told KISS they should start wearing make-up.  Probably the funniest celebrity is Michael J. Fox who is obsessed with collecting “Bruno-abilia”.  The Return of Bruno came out the year before Die Hard made Bruce a megastar, but the fact that he could land such big names for what is essentially an HBO Comedy Special is pretty impressive. 

The interviews eventually give way to a performance where Bruno performs “Living in the USA”, “Down in Hollywood”, “Fun Time”, “Comin’ Right Up”, and “Jackpot (Bruno’s Bop)”.  What he may lack in musical prowess, he makes up for in stage presence as he leaps, runs, works the crowd, and cavorts with the musicians with boundless energy.  He’s clearly having the time of his life, and that kind of energy rubs off on the audience. 

Oh, and Bruce named his production company Hudson Hawk. 

As far as ‘80s actors-turned-musicians “movies” go, I still think I like Don Johnson’s Heartbeat better.  Still, this is a priceless time capsule anyway you look at it.  Any fan of Bruce (or Bruno) should check it out.