The plot for this shitty, no-budget, Shot on Video slasher is simple: A man flips his wig and stabs his wife to death in her sleep. He gets sent away to the nuthouse but escapes years later to murder some teens having a party.
Parts of Garden Tool Massacre are hard to see due to the poor lighting and/or crummy video cameras the crew were using. (The tape rolls get annoying after a while too.) Parts are hard to hear too due to the shitty sound and the thick British accents. It doesn’t help that it’s pretty slow moving in general and is filled with long scenes where nothing happens. The attempts at suspense also fail spectacularly. I mean, having not one, but two scenes where a guy takes a piss in a garden where he doesn’t get his junk cut off by a garden tool in a movie called Garden Tool Massacre is just lazy filmmaking if you ask me. Sequences where guys wake up, put on their pants and shave don’t necessarily make for gripping cinema either. Also, the party turns out to be a complete sausage fest, which is extremely disappointing.
The biggest gripe comes from the fact that the killer doesn’t take full advantage of the whole gardening tool aesthetic implied by the title. Among the weapons of death are a knife, a corkscrew, and an axe. The only real gardening tools that are utilized are garden shears and hedge clippers. To be fair, in one scene he does crack a guy’s neck while wearing gardening gloves, so I guess that counts.
It's a shame because the opening murder is decent. It’s obvious director David Hinds is a fan of John Carpenter as he apes Halloween every chance he gets. Too bad the results are not very effective and kinda dull. The poster is cool though.
this one was OK.
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