A mad scientist invents a formula to turn Emo band twinks into mindless gay porn stars. In order to distribute formula, he gets his sister, the warden of girls’ reform school, to dress up the inmates as “Ghoul Scouts” and pass out drug-laced cookies to unsuspecting musicians. Naturally, the cookies turn them into flesh hungry zombies, and the girls must band together to stop the impending zombie apocalypse.
Before we go any further, let me get this off my chest. No movie with the words “Ghoul”, “Scout”, “Zombie”, and “Massacre” in the title should ever run one-hundred-and-eleven minutes. Don’t get me wrong, there’s some good stuff here, but for every decent moment (like when the girls are “re-educated” by being forced to watch ‘50s housewife filmstrips) there’s one that flat-out doesn’t work (like when the doctor’s put-upon assistant stops the flick cold for an unnecessary musical number). The set-up is long winded too, and the rock concert sequence eats up a lot of screen time.
It also takes forever to get the ball rolling. I mean, did we really need to see every one of the Ghoul Scouts’ back stories? Probably not. Then again, since this sequence ends with the pregnant warden giving them a whipping, I guess it’s okay. (This stretch also contains a solid Carrie homage.)
The humor is hit and miss too. Much of the stuff involving the mad scientist is borderline painful, and any scene with his assistant is even worse. Fortunately, the parts with the Ghoul Scouts are sort of fun. (The sex scene offers one of the biggest laughs.) I mean, the zombie baby scene alone ensures this won’t get any lower than **. If the running time was a good forty minutes shorter, the rating would’ve been much higher.
Oh, and be on the lookout for a cameo by Bloodsucking Freaks director, Joel M. Reed.
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