I vaguely remember when the whole “Pizzagate” thing was trending on Twitter a few years ago, but I never bothered to even click on any of it because I figured it was just a bunch of crackpot idiotic bullshit. Before I watched this, I did a quick search of Pizzagate on Wikipedia and it pretty much confirmed what I already suspected. It seems Pizzagate was a right-wing conspiracy theory that (allegedly) linked Democrats to child sex trafficking by lizard people Illuminati members who apparently keep the sex workers in the basements of D.C. pizza parlors.
The Pizzagate Massacre suggests the improbable proposition that all of this is true. Not in a “Told you so!” kind of way, but rather, “It’s all real, but it just sounds so weird that nobody will ever take it seriously”.
Karen (Alexandria Payne) is a fledgling documentary filmmaker who loses her job at a right-wing news network right after they break the Pizzagate story. She joins forces with an alt-right militia nut named Duncan (Tinus Seaux) to make a movie about Pizzagate and expose the truth. It doesn’t take long for them to get into hot water with the authorities, the militia, and (possibly) the lizard people who run the world.
Writer/director John Valley shoots the film with style and the John Carpenter-inspired synth score is pretty good. However, despite the title, it’s not a horror movie. In a way, it’s kind of a high wire act for Valley as he’s presenting right-wing conspiracy theory gobbledygook as stone-cold fact while (presumably) not believing a word of it. Unfortunately, the movie never really commits to the bit. It could’ve taken some interesting turns, but Valley just opts to turn things into sort of an oddball concoction of Coen Brothers/Tarantino/Scorsese crime movie cliches in the third act.
Seaux is solid in the lead. He sort of resembles Chris Hemsworth playing a Phillip Seymour Hoffman character. He has oddball energy to spare, but the movie itself never really clicks.
AKA: Duncan.
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