I
have a soft spot in my heart for anthology horror films, so of course I had to
see at least one of them during The 31 Days of Horror-Ween. When you consider the fact that it stars two
of my favorite horror icons, Lon Chaney, Jr. and John Carradine, it was hard to
keep me away from Gallery of Horror.
Even the fact the film was directed by legendary hack David L. (The Wizard
of Mars) Hewitt couldn’t discourage me.
After all, Hewitt’s The Mighty Gorga is one of my favorite shitty
monster movies, so why not take a chance on it?
As it turns out, it’s not bad. It
has all the cheapness that hallmarks Hewitt’s cut-rate productions for sure,
but it’s all fairly watchable.
Carradine
is your host for the Wraparound (**) segments. He stands in front of a cheap castle backdrop
going on and on about curses and vampires and shit. As much as I love Carradine, the movie didn’t
really need these segments. They’re
mostly boring, longwinded, and go on forever.
The
Witch’s Clock (**) is the first tale. A
couple buys an old mansion and find an antique clock in the basement. Once they get it working again, an old
caretaker (Carradine) shows up on their doorstep. They offer him a job, but soon learn he has a
hidden centuries-long agenda.
The
tale starts off well enough, but the ending is abrupt and unsatisfying. It wouldn’t have been so bad if it wasn’t so
rushed. Heck, it might’ve even
benefitted from more fleshing out. The
(mostly) one location setting doesn’t help matters any as the majority of the
story feels cramped and stagey.
In
King Vampire (**), London is plagued by a series of ghastly murders. Everyone believes it to be the work of a
vampire, but the inspector on the case is convinced a human madman is to blame.
After mob justice results in the death
of an innocent man, the “King” vampire finally reveals itself.
This
story is supposed to take place in Victorian England, but the budget was way
too small to pull off the effect.
Instead, most of the outdoor scenes are bathed in darkness to disguise the
fact the budget couldn’t afford elaborate sets. (Sometimes it’s just a bunch of people
standing around a single old-timey lamppost.)
These scenes are just bad enough to be good for a laugh, and the English
accents are flat-out terrible, which increases the hilarity. Like the other stories, it unfortunately
suffers from a weak twist ending.
The
Monster Raid (***) is by far the best segment. A scientist is too busy with his experiments
to notice his wife is cheating on him with his assistant. They plan to run away together, but first they
must get rid of the good doctor. The
assistant sabotages the experiment, kills the doctor, and plans to steal his
discovery. Little does he realize the experiment has given his mentor the power
to rise from the grave and get revenge.
The
Monster Raid is similar in some ways to Roger Corman’s Poe movies and their use
of garish colors. It kicks off with a
genuinely atmospheric moment when the scientist awakens from his tomb and has a
number of fun moments along the way. Not
only did Hewitt manage to inject some chills into this entry, he also did a
much better job with the period detail than in the previous stories. There are countryside vistas, a horse-drawn
carriage, and even some fine period costumes. Heck, the cheap lab set is kind of cool. I also liked the flashback structure, and the
sinister narration is well done. However, as with the other tales, the resolution
is too rushed to be truly satisfying.
In
Spark of Life (**), a doctor (Chaney) tells a pair of med students about the
experiments of Dr. Frankenstein. To test
his theory, they try an experiment on a corpse and it winds up working all too
well. Unfortunately, they really
should’ve checked to see just who they were reanimating before they started
their experiment.
This
story is pretty standard and unremarkable. It kind of plays like a half-assed variation
of Re-Animator, minus the over the top gore. Although the twist ending is predictable,
Hewitt executes it decently enough. The
best thing about it is Chaney’s cantankerous performance. You won’t believe him as a brilliant
scientist for a second, but that’s part of the fun.
Count
Dracula (**) is the final tale. Jonathan
Harker comes to Dracula’s castle to close a business deal. Their meeting is interrupted when an angry mob
of villagers chase a woman in white claiming she’s a vampire. Harker joins in on the hunt and we soon realize
he has an ulterior motive for coming to the castle.
At
first, it all seems like a Cliffs Notes version of the Bram Stoker classic before
becoming something more akin to a Paul Naschy movie. The period detail is better than King Vampire,
and the graveyard set and fog-shrouded crypt are nicely done given the low
budget. Too bad Mitch Evans’ terrible performance
as Dracula (not to mention the silly ending) pretty much sinks it.
The
best parts are the animated scene transitions.
Within each segment there are cool page-turning effects which give the
film a living comic book feel. (These effects were later put to better use in
Creepshow.) I also dug the blood
splatters and the bat transformations that were done courtesy of animation. These little touches can’t save the movie, but
they do give Gallery of Horror a certain charm.
AKA: Gallery of Horrors. AKA: Return
from the Past. AKA: King Vampire.
AKA: The Bloodsuckers. AKA:
Dr. Terror’s Gallery of Horrors.
AKA: The Witch’s Clock.
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