FRANKY AND HIS PALS (1991) *

Franky, Drak, Humper, Wolfie, and Mummy are a group of monsters that have been living inside of a cave for a hundred years.  After they find a treasure map, Franky accidentally farts so hard that it blows a hole in the side of the mountain.  The pals then go out into the real world searching for treasure and encounter aerobicize classes, Halloween costume parties, and the joy of peeping on people while they’re doing the nasty.

Franky and His Pals looks like an unholy amalgam of a low budget Sid and Marty Krofft show from the ‘70s and a ‘90s shot-on-video horror flick.  Although there’s enough suggestive humor here to warrant a PG-13, it’s not really for kids.  Or adults.  Or humans for that matter.

I was flummoxed by this flick at every turn, which is really saying something coming from such a die-hard bad movie connoisseur.  The gags are awful (the vampire, “Drak” goes to a bar and orders a… wait for it… Bloody Mary!) and the sexual humor doesn’t work at all (the hunchback, “Humper” watches a couple doing it and says, “Ride me like a cowboy!” over and over again).  It’s also heavily padded with annoying songs, including a rap that recaps the events of the movie… TEN MINUTES into the film!  We’re only ten minutes in!  What is there to recap?  The ending where the film simultaneously throws up its hands and gives up AND sets itself up for a sequel will have you tearing your hair out.

The oddest part is the romance that blooms with the werewolf, “Wolfie” and a gay ballerina.  In a movie like this (and certainly one made during this time period), you’d think there’d be a lot of crass jokes made at the only gay character's expense.  However, their storyline is treated with a surprising amount of dignity.  (Or as much as you would expect from a SOV horror comedy.)  Furthermore, all the characters never comment negatively on their relationship, and are generally accepting of their union.  That sole touch was enough for me to give Franky and His Pals * instead of ½ *.  (Unfortunately, the progressive attitudes only extend so far as the only two black characters are treated like scared caricatures out of a horror flick from the ‘30s.)