Kenzo (Makoto Kojima) is a lowly teacher who learns his night school is about to be shut down. As a final farewell, he and his ragtag group of students decide to put on a musical for the last day of school. Little do they know that’s when an alien invasion of Earth is about to occur. Luckily, two of his students are tiny aliens in disguise and they give their beloved teacher a super pill that makes him grow to enormous proportions so he can duke it out with the giant alien menace.
Attack of the Giant Teacher has a potentially good idea. It’s just a shame that you have to wait until the final ten minutes for the teacher to become a giant. (Aside from the opening flash forward, that is.) Till then, you’re stuck with a lot of boring Stand and Deliver-style stuff. While the teaching scenes aren’t bad exactly, there’s very little for you to hang your hat on until the climax rolls around. (Aside from the random scene where a lawyer fights a waitress wearing wrestling tights.)
The effects are kind of cheesy, although I guess that’s to be expected. (The main alien looks like a cross between a burned-out lava lamp and Tom Servo from Mystery Science Theater 3000.) However, the Ultraman-style fight scene at the end is rather ill-fitting with the whole teacher narrative. I guess it would’ve been okay if the final fight wasn’t so damned brief. If you’re more invested in whether or not the teacher and his students will rally together to put on the big musical rather than if the teacher will become huge and fight off the impending alien invasion, then you might dig it. Personally, there weren’t nearly enough scenes of the giant teacher battling UFOs, which, to me, seemed like the entire goddamned point. Because of that, I can’t give Attack of the Giant Teacher a passing grade.
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