Stanley DeFeo (Chance Gibbs) thinks he’s a man without a past. That all changes when he learns he’s inherited a house in Amityville from a grandmother he never knew. Once inside the house, he discovers her diary which details her sordid affair with a cult leader. Frazzled by this new information, he tries to get to the truth of the matter.
We’ve come to expect very little from these Amityville rip-offs. However, even within those very limited expectations, we still expect… well… SOMETHING. I mean if an Amityville rip-off can’t be good, it at the very least can be… Stupid… Cheesy… Bonkers…. Unintentionally funny… Well, it can be anything, really. Except boring. Unfortunately, that’s the case with Amityville Cult.
And let me tell you, it’s a slow moving, uninvolving slog from the word go. I will say the flashback scenes are slightly less dull than the present-day stuff, if only for the weirdo cult leader dude who stands around with a Cheshire Cat grin like an extra from Smile. That’s about all the flick has going for it though. The long scenes of our hero reading the diary in a dark room while a clock on the wall rhythmically ticks were almost too much to handle. These scenes put me to sleep not once, but twice. If you are cursed with insomnia, then Amityville Cult is the perfect cure.
The stuff with Gibbs interviewing the townsfolk and unraveling family secrets is just as dull too. Just when you think it can’t get any worse, along comes a long ass nightmare scene full of shit we’ve already seen. If you’re deepest darkest fear is recycled footage, then Amityville Cult will scare you shitless. You know you’re in trouble when the movie’s biggest horror scene involves a highchair moving around like it’s in a Peter Gabriel music video.
Bottom Line: Amityville Cult might not be the worst Amityville rip-off ever made, but it’s definitely in the running for the dullest.
this one definitely plays better on Youtube where you can watch it at 2x speed with subtitles.
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