Thursday, December 19, 2024

BLOOD TIES (1991) **

Blood Ties is a TV movie that’s basically an unsold pilot.  It was produced by Gene Corman (Roger’s brother) and directed by Jim (Breathless) McBride.  Despite the pedigree behind the camera, it still somehow winds up being lukewarm and forgettable. 

A vampire teen (Jason London in his film debut) goes on the run after his parents are staked by a vampire hunter (Bo Hopkins sporting a laughable Amish beard with no mustache).  He flees to Long Beach, California which is a haven for vampires who live quietly among the humans.  The vampire hunters follow, and it’s up to the clan leader (Patrick Bauchau) to decide how to retaliate. 

Even though the majority of Blood Ties is lame, I must admit that some of the dialogue is rather amusing.  Take for instance the scene when a vampire reporter (Harley Venton) teaches London about vampire sex, or as he calls it, “The Bats and the Bees”.  Or when the vampires talk about revealing their true nature to the world by saying, “It’s time to come out of the coffin”.  I also liked how they refer to themselves as “Carpathian-Americans” because they believe the term “vampire” is racist.  I guess you better be politically correct when you talk to a bloodsucker. 

The performances are a mixed bag.  Michelle Johnson is sexy as the sultry vamp who in the film’s most memorable scene is able to pop the buttons off her blouse just by heaving her bosom up and down.  Bauchau is okay as the sleazy vampire businessman, but Venton is a bit dull in the lead.  Sadly, Hopkins, along with Gregory Scott Cummins and Grace Zabriskie are woefully underutilized as the vampire hunters. 

This might’ve worked if it had gone to series and was able to expand upon its ideas.  However, like most TV pilots, it takes an inordinate amount of time to gather any steam.  The plot is splintered (the low rent Lost Boys stuff with London works better than the “A” plot line with Venton romancing a human lawyer) and the pacing is sluggish.  The made for TV limitations also mean there’s more talk than action (the finale is fine for an episode of a TV show, but it’s definitely lacking for a feature film) and that the sex scenes (a McBride specialty) are watered down.  (Johnson shows off her cleavage and her bare back and shoulders but that’s it.)  These limitations prevent Blood Ties from having much bite. 

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