Ringo Starr and Dennis Quaid star as cavemen in this goofy prehistoric comedy. They spend most of their days having to hide from dinosaurs and avoid getting beat up by the big and hairy John Matusak. Ringo wants Matusak’s mate, Barbara Bach for his own, and when he unsuccessfully tries to woo her, he is cast out of the tribe. Along with Quaid, another cave babe (a pre-Cheers Shelley Long), and her blind father (Jack Gilford), they find a new tribe and discover fire and music (on the same night, no less). Eventually, Ringo brings everybody together to do battle with Matusak’s tribe and in doing so, learns Shelly’s the real gal for him.
The stop-motion effects (by Jim Danforth) are really well done, even if the dinosaurs themselves are overly cutesy. In fact, other than the oddball cast of familiar faces grunting and running around in loincloths, the dinos are the best thing about it.
There’s no actual English dialogue (mostly) except when the cavemen say each other’s names as everyone speaks in grunts or in childish caveman language. (Theater patrons were given a handy pamphlet with all the meanings of the caveman language when it was first released.) It’s all kind of silly and harmless, though it’s rarely laugh-out-loud funny. It would probably be perfect for kids if it wasn’t for the cringey scene where Starr gives Bach berries that make her fall to sleep and then he tries (and fails) to bang her.
Starr coasts on the sheer fact that you’re watching everyone’s fourth favorite Beatle in a dumb caveman movie. At least some good came out of it as he met his future wife Barbara Bach while making this. Bach looks great in her skimpy pelts, even if she isn’t really given anything to do other than look great in a skimpy pelt. No wonder Ringo snapped her up. Likewise, Quaid is mostly wasted as he’s basically a third wheel, which is ironic since the first wheel hadn’t even been invented yet. Richard Moll also shows up in a memorable bit as an Abominable Snowman.
The director and co-writer, Carl Gottlieb (most famous for co-writing the screenplay to Jaws) also co-wrote Jaws 3-D, which also starred Quaid.
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