Wednesday, December 18, 2024

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: THE GEEK (1971) ***

FORMAT:  DVD

A group of campers go out hiking searching for the elusive “Geek” AKA:  Bigfoot.  After making camp, they put the make on each other.  (I mean if you’re going to pitch a tent, it’s senseless to let it go to waste.)  Eventually, they make contact with the Geek, who promptly throws one of the girls down and rapes her.  (Her boyfriend’s reaction?  “You’ll be all right!”)  After Bigfoot has his way with another young lass, the menfolk finally find enough courage to scare him off. 

I’ve seen a lot of pornos in my time.  I’ve seen a lot of Bigfoot movies too.  This was my first Bigfoot porno.  As such, it’s not bad.  I mean I’m sure there’s somebody out there with a Bigfoot fetish just waiting to discover this movie.  You know what they say:  Don’t knock it till you try it.  Either way, for bad movie fans this will be a riot. 

Sure, the first two acts are heavily padded with scenes of the campers hiking nonstop.  Sure, the actresses maybe could’ve used a little Clearasil here and there.  But when we finally get to see the Geek, it’s a hoot.  He kind of looks like a black version of the monster in Shriek of the Mutilated.  He’s obviously just wearing the body suit from a shabby gorilla costume but with the fly down so his dick can dangle down between his legs.  Boggy Creek, eat your heart out. 

The sex scenes with the sex mad Sasquatch are good for a laugh too.  I especially liked the second scene where his make-up started smearing onto the poor actress’s ass.  Oh, and contrary to popular belief, the adage, “The bigger the feet, the bigger the meat” doesn’t apply here.  Well, at least when we’re talking about Bigfoot that is.  The poor lug has a lot of trouble getting it up for either gal. 

Is any of this erotic?  Hell no! Will it make you shake your head in disbelief?  Fuck yeah!  Sometimes, especially when you’re dealing with hour-long no-budget pornos from the ‘70s, that’s about the best you can hope for. 

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